slanderoid
United States
 
 
Screenshot ♥️♥️♥️♥️. Lazy ♥️♥️♥️ gamer. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ reviewer. Currently playing whatever's in my backlog. Or whatever's new. Who knows?
Currently Online
Welcome to my profile!
Feel free to take a look around. I'm going to showcase some of my favorite games down below. (FYI: some of them are NSFW.) I'm historically a fan of RPGs and horror games, but I've been branching out more over the years and I've come to like a lot of stuff. For instance, I never realized that I like adventure games and shooters. Who knew?! I guess I do tend to enjoy indies more than AAAs, but there are no rules about what I enjoy. ♥♥♥♥ rules. Rules can suck it. Anyway, here's some stuff I like:
Screenshot Showcase
Borderlands 3
9 2
Favorite Game
Favorite Game
Items Up For Trade
1,376
Items Owned
3
Trades Made
4,320
Market Transactions
(I don't usually make badges with the special cards... If you want to trade me some regular ones for the silver ones, I'd be happy to do it!)
Review Showcase
112 Hours played
Under normal circumstances, I like to finish a game before I review it. However, these are not normal circumstances. Rather, these are as abnormal as circumstances get. (Okay, I might be exaggerating… but still.) Even though I’m only part way through the third act of the game, I want to get this review done because (a) I want to get this written before the year’s end and/or this award season, (b) I’ll get a badge for posting it during the Steam Awards, and (c) it’s Baldur’s ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Gate 3! You probably already know everything I’m going to say, so why wait?

So, yeah, what we have here is a game that is likely to win multiple “Game of the Year” awards, will be remembered in 2029 as one of the best games of the decade, and will be found on many peoples’ lists of the greatest games of all time. It is an absolute triumph in nearly every possible way, and we should all be grateful that it exists. That may sound hyperbolic, but I mean every word: this game could shake up the gaming landscape as we know it in ways that only benefit us as players. In a world of battle passes, loot boxes, and DLC, here comes Baldur’s Gate 3 with its ♥♥♥♥ swinging: a huge, complete game whose developers have no plans for DLC, whatsoever. Even EActivisionSoft will sit up and take notice when this game continues to exist in the public consciousness for a long time to come.

But slanderoid,” I hear you shrieking into your monitor or phone or PDA or whatever, “we get that you think the game is important, but is it fun?!

Let me answer your question with another question: What other game would have the player walk in on a goblin porking an orc in a barn and then have to kill them to keep them from ripping your team apart in a blue-balled rage? How about having the player talk a mad scientist into performing surgery on himself to avoid fighting him in a boss battle? How about letting a helpful but overly zealous bard pull out your character’s eyeball in an attempt to remove the Yeerk from their head, only to replace it with an eyeball he had in his pocket? Sounds like fun, no? …No? Oh, maybe I could have phrased it better: Yes. This game is fun as hell.

You’ll find all of that in this game. Or you won’t. Maybe you’ll find all different stuff. The number of different paths and events in this huge game is genuinely staggering. Normally this is the kind of thing that would give me choice paralysis, forcing me to turn the game off and never come back again. However, since every choice leads to something interesting, surprising, or, yes, fun, I never really felt like I was missing out. Honestly, I just feel like I need to play it again some time and choose completely different options next time.

Okay, let’s run down the list of other great stuff in this game: this game is gorgeous, even on my ancient GTX 1080; the characters are believably expressive, adding to the immersion; the music is memorable; the voice acting is excellent; and narratively, this game is immediately gripping and never lets go. Basically, anyone who has a litmus test for what makes a good game, this game passes. It’s almost guaranteed.

The story would be nothing, of course, if it wasn’t full of amazingly badass characters. Every member of the player’s party comes with an interesting back story and a set of side quests that will determine their fate as the story unfolds. Seriously, even the suckiest character (Wyll) has a cool story. And, as you’re probably aware, you can romance any of the people on your team and you’ll learn even more about them. I haven’t even mentioned the hordes of NPCs that the player encounters throughout the realm that have full stories of their own.

Now, this wouldn’t be one of my reviews without sharing one of my objectively awful opinions that’s likely to leave you completely dumbfounded about how I manage to even play games at all. (Other than saying that Wyll sucks, that is.) So, here it is: I wish there was a setting to bypass all of the dice rolls during conversations. Not just the animation – the whole ass mechanic itself. As someone who doesn’t give two farts about D&D, the dice rolls just feel like a way for the game to keep my character from doing what I want them to do. I’ve been playing this for well over 100 hours (and I’ve only just started Act III, so I’m counting on another few dozen hours, at least) and I’m getting old enough that I’ve begun staring into the face of my own mortality, so I just want the decisions I make in the game to be followed through with – not checked against RNG to see if my decision would work out. In a world where Nabbit and Funky Kong exist, I don't think it's too much to ask... As it is, I’ve spent a great deal of time sitting in front of the loading screen after reloading my last save because a die roll didn’t go the way I wanted it to.

I’ll give you a moment to get your heartrate back to normal. Take ten deep breaths. Do you still feel like smashing your keyboard or phone or stylus or whatever? Okay, take another second.

Did you get it out of your system? Okay, let’s get back to it.

I know that I was talking up the different, random paths the player can find themselves taking through the story just a little bit ago, but I think the die rolls would be better on my second playthrough. I’d love to see what kind of crazy crap happens when I fail a die roll for telling a bog hag to eat ♥♥♥♥. But, on my first time through, I don’t want the outcome to be out of my hands. I just want to tell her to eat crap and let nature take its course without RNG getting in the way.

Okay, I’m done disparaging the fundamental mechanics of TTRPGs. However, I’d be an even crappier reviewer if I didn’t remind readers that this game is huge with hundreds of different possible outcomes in any given moment of the game – so there are bugs. I’ve had the game crash several times, which was frustrating until I remembered to save early and save often.

Which brings me to one of my favorite features of this game that I haven’t heard much about. When I first started playing, I tried relying on the autosave to carry me through the game. This was a mistake – it only reliably autosaves when you enter a new map and the maps in this game are (care to take a guess?) huge. Instead, the game allows the player to make manual saves at any time. Have you been battling for way longer than you expected and now your mom is calling you downstairs for dinner? You can save if you need to. Are you in the middle of a conversation with an NPC but your cat has become a puke cyclone, so now you’ve got to step away and get mopping? Save. Are you in the middle of a date with your in-game romantic interest where you can see their nips and you want to come back to it again later – for science? Save, save, save!

I know it’s a silly thing to love about a game that is revolutionary in many ways but I’m a simple man. I’d love to see this feature show up in more games in the future. Autosave has come a long, long way but sometimes I’d love to be able to make manual saves whenever I want, too. I want it all!

Anyway, that’s enough rambling, I think. This game is fantastic. It’s my game of the year for good reason. (It even beat out Resident Evil 4, an outstanding remake of my favorite game of all time.) Barring financial or health reasons, everyone should play it. That means you. You should play this game. If you’re somehow still on the fence about playing it despite there being over 400,000 positive reviews of the game at the time of writing and, for some reason, this review is the one that is going to tip the scales: play it, for god’s sake! It’s worth every penny you’ll spend on it and many, many more.
Awards Showcase
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262
Awards Received
276
Awards Given
Favorite Group
Epic Games Sucks - Public Group
For those against Epic and their forced exclusives
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Members
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In-Game
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Online
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In Chat
Thanks for stopping by!
Feel free to leave a comment down below. If you liked what you saw, I'm always accepting profile awards... *wink, nudge* If you do decide to leave a profile award, leave a comment saying that you did and I'll award you with one, too! :coolstar2022:

Otherwise, if you want to see more stuff that I do, you can find me on Mastodon [goblin.camp] and StoryGraph [app.thestorygraph.com]. I'll also pin my group down below if you feel like following my curator page. Happy gaming!
Favorite Group
slanderoid.txt - Public Group
Thoughts and feelings about games by slanderoid
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In-Game
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In Chat
TWPanda77 Mar 17 @ 9:02am 
:Femot::arkball::laser::Femot::Femot::Femot::laser::arkball:
:laser::atomical::atomical::arkball::Femot::arkball::atomical::atomical::laser:
:arkball::dealstars::Antibody::atomical::laser::atomical::Antibody::dealstars::arkball:
:laser::atomical::blue_heart::sibstar::Antibody::sibstar::blue_heart::atomical::laser:
:Femot::arkball::atomical::dealstars::princessmaya::dealstars::atomical::arkball:
:Femot::Femot::laser::atomical::crystalz5::atomical::laser:
:Femot::Femot::Femot::arkball::dealstars::arkball:
:Femot::Femot::Femot::Femot::laser:
:_T_::_A_::_K_::_E_::call::_C_::_A_::_R_::_E_::hugs:
Ludunos Feb 26 @ 1:27am 
   :shineq::universeq::shineq:         :shineq::universeq::shineq:
:universeq::knt_blue::Big_Bang::knt_blue::universeq:   :universeq::knt_blue::Big_Bang::knt_blue::universeq:
:shineq::Big_Bang:      :Big_Bang::shineq::Big_Bang:      :Big_Bang::shineq:
:universeq::knt_blue:         :knt_blue:         :knt_blue::universeq:
   :shineq::Big_Bang:               :Big_Bang::shineq:
      :universeq::knt_blue:         :knt_blue::universeq:
         :shineq::Big_Bang:   :Big_Bang::shineq:
            :universeq::knt_blue::universeq:
               :shineq:
TWPanda77 Feb 25 @ 2:46am 
          :atomical:  :fireflies:
 :Femot::Femot::Femot::Femot::fireflies::ai_flare::Femot::pinkheart::ai_flare:
 :Femot::atomical::AoD_flower::Aftercare::Femot::Aftercare::AoD_flower:
 :Femot::Aftercare::ms_rose::pinkheart::AoD_flower::fireflies::atomical::Aftercare:
 :Femot::AoD_flower::ai_flare::fireflies::atomical::ms_rose::fireflies::AoD_flower:
 :Femot::Femot::Aftercare::fireflies::pinkheart::ai_flare::Aftercare:
 :Femot::atomical::Femot::AoD_flower::ms_rose::AoD_flower::atomical:
 :pinkheart::Femot::fireflies::atomical::Aftercare:
:fireflies:
⠀  Have a beautiful day:princessmaya::dealstars:
レのひ刀ム丂 Feb 24 @ 8:33am 
:donaldtoad::goldenfaerie::honor1::goldenfaerie::donaldtoad::goldenfaerie::honor1::goldenfaerie:
:honor1::aptgp::a2gold::aptgp::royalcrown::aptgp::a2gold::aptgp::honor1:
:firepillar::a2gold::dealstars::dealstars::a2gold::dealstars::dealstars::a2gold::firepillar:
:honor1::aptgp::dealstars::dealstars::summersun::dealstars::dealstars::aptgp::honor1:
:donaldtoad::firepillar::a2gold::dealstars::dealstars::dealstars::a2gold::firepillar:
:donaldtoad::donaldtoad::honor1::aptgp::dealstars::aptgp::honor1:
:donaldtoad::donaldtoad::donaldtoad::firepillar::a2gold::firepillar:
:FFVchocobo::donaldtoad::donaldtoad::donaldtoad::bolt::donaldtoad::donaldtoad::donaldtoad::FFVchocobo:



⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀  :frame01::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame02::frame03:
⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀  :frame08: │█▌▌▐││▌█▐▐││││█▌▌▐│ :frame04:
⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀  :frame08:⠀⠀𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙼𝙿 ®       :frame04:
⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀  :frame07::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame06::frame05:
⠀⠀⠀⠀        ⠀⠀⠀⠀       ⠀⠀⠀⠀     ⠀⠀⠀   ꜱɪɢɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ: 𝔾ℝ𝔸𝕐 𝔽𝕆𝕏™


TWPanda77 Feb 18 @ 5:51am 
:lovestar::dealstars:               :dealstars::lovestar:
:dealstars:   :yellow_dot::yellow_dot:   :yellow_dot::yellow_dot:   :dealstars:
   :yellow_dot::dealstars::dealstars::yellow_dot::dealstars::dealstars::yellow_dot:   
   :yellow_dot::dealstars::dealstars::SO4key::dealstars::dealstars::yellow_dot:   
      :yellow_dot::dealstars::dealstars::dealstars::yellow_dot:      
:yellow_cocu:      :yellow_dot::dealstars::yellow_dot:      :yellow_cocu:
:re3stars::yellow_cocu:      :yellow_dot:      :yellow_cocu::re3stars:
:lovestar::re3stars::yellow_cocu:         :yellow_cocu::re3stars::lovestar:
:_T_::_A_::_K_::_E_::call::_C_::_A_::_R_::_E_::hugs: