Dear Jack if you're reading this, I'm sorry that I accidentally killed your brother in a driving accident








I know it sounds crazy, but whenever I touch these sandwiches... you're gonna laugh at me, you're gonna think I'm nuts, you're gonna think I'm crazy. When I touch these sandwiches, I feel the hands of every person, whose touched it before me and after me, and I feel this jolt, of like, frigging lightning or something, from my head to the tip of my you-know-what. Sometimes, while I'm grabbing these sandwiches with my bare hands, I just can't help, but throw my head back in ecstacy and moan. So whenever I go and talk to chicks, I just...the chicks say "What do you do?" and I say "Yes I do grab sandwiches with my bare hands in a factory and. don't laugh don't laugh at me, I feel like a spirit, like an orb shoot through my body every time I grab a sandwich. You know a lot of people laugh at me, they beat me up, they give me black eyes, they broke my nose 4 times, you know, because, I just like to make sandwiches and I get bullied about it, and I get bullied for it, and they pull my underwear up and doodoo feces does fall out, because of how hard they pull. But.. Will I stop grabbing sandwiches with my bare hands and moving them down the assembly line? Absolutely freaking not, if you know what I mean. Like, no, it's just, no way. Uh, this is the only thing that brings my life joy and you can, you can beat me up, you can threaten to kill me, you can dox me, come to my house in a black SUV, I'm not gonna stop doing this. I love the people of this country, I love giving them soggy sandwiches and.. No, I'm not gonna stop.