“Once Human: I Can’t Stop Playing, Send Help”

I have made a mistake. A glorious, time-devouring, sleep-annihilating mistake, and it’s called Once Human. This game is like if someone mixed Mad Max, Minecraft, and an alien horror movie, then whispered, “Go nuts.” I thought, “Hey, I’ll try it for an hour.” HA. SIX HOURS LATER, I’m fighting a tentacle-faced monster with a crowbar, yelling at my Deviant buddy (who’s literally a bug the size of a dog) to PLEASE stop eating mushrooms and help me survive.

You get dropped into a world that’s basically what happens if the Earth went full Alien Apocalypse, and somehow it’s both terrifying and hilarious. I was scavenging through what used to be a school, and instead of finding supplies, I found a mutant bird that YEETED me out a second-story window. Did I rage-quit? NOPE. I went back with a vengeance and a flamethrower.

The crafting system is so detailed that I spent two hours decorating my in-game base—then got immediately attacked by alien goop monsters that destroyed my hard work. Did I cry? Yes. Did I rebuild? ALSO YES.

And the Deviants! My favorite little mutant sidekicks! They’re so weird and so dumb and I love them. One of mine randomly ran head-first into a wall during a boss fight, but somehow, this game makes even THAT feel charming.

The gameplay is a chaotic mix of shooting, scavenging, and screaming. You’re constantly on edge because something will always come out of nowhere to ruin your day, but it’s the good kind of stress. I haven’t slept in three days because I keep telling myself, “Just one more mission.”

TL;DR: Once Human is the kind of game that makes you forget what time it is, what day it is, and possibly what species you are. 10/10, would lose my sanity to tentacle monsters again.

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