Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem is not only one of the best games I have ever had the privilege of playing, but objectively one of the finest pieces of art humanity has ever produced. Every single element of this game has been masterfully constructed by the team of artisans at Croteam. The gameplay loop of running, shooting, running. shooting and running has never felt so refined. The Legion System has been so skillfully implemented that I can say with absolute confidence that gaming has been forever revolutionized. The music is so good, I swear to you I had an orgasm in my pants. CAME! The story is absolutely captivating, and I am without a doubt a better man, citizen and human being after witnessing it. I ran through the gambit of emotions connecting with Sam Stone: excitement, anger, fear, surprise, and true euphoria. The visuals were so advanced, that in many portions of the campaign I could not distinguish what was on screen from actual reality. This game is digital ecstasy.

My final review: 10/10, better than sex, buy 4 copies and give them to others in the same way Christ spread the word of the lord. Praise be to God.