⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣤⣤⣄⣠⣶⣶⣶⣦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠋⠛⠻⠿⡟⠛⠛⠉⡈⣻⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣀⠀⠀⠀⣷⣤⠀⢈⣰⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠪⣿⣭⡖⠀⡿⣿⢷⣿⣿⢏⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⢀⡀⢙⣭⣟⡿⢱⠊
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠘⠻⠼⠟⠟⡾⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⣤⣭⣉⣭⣾⡷⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠈⠙⠿⠿⣿⣻⠅⡄⢀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⣮⣛⣻⣿⣛⣭⣾⡇⣾⣷⣷⡀⡀
⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢸⣿⣿⠏⠹⣿⣿⡿⢈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⣮⣽⣵⠀⠀⢀⡤⠀⠈⣌⣿⡃⠀⠀⠹⡿⣼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠠⠙⠩⠈⠁⠀⢀⣲⣖⠄⢸⣼⡟⠀⠀⣷⣽⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
Rise and shine, gay man...
Rise... and shine...

whomst

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"I'm not like other girls", she said, golden skin shimmering in the summer sun, and she wasn't, she was a rotisserie chicken that I bought, took outside, and performed a small ♥♥♥♥ with in the parking lot before eating in my car while sobbing loudly.

⢠⠒⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⣼⠉⢹⣄⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⠀⢸⢠⠏⢀⣤⣄⠈⢿⣄⠀⢠⣤⣿⠉⢠⣤⣤⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⠀⢸⢸⠀⢠⣭⣭⣤⣼⣿⠀⢸⡆⠘⢦⣀⠈⠑⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⠀⢸⣸⣆⡈⠛⠛⢋⡿⠹⡄⠈⠛⣿⡉⠛⠋⣀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀
⠈⡏⠁⢠⠤⠏⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⢻⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣏⣀⣀⡀⠙⢦
⢮⠁⠀⠈⢹⣿⠉⢳⠀⡞⠉⣧⣠⠞⠉⠉⠙⣾⡇⠀⣧⠞⢉⡽⠀⢀⣠⠇⠀⡼
⠀⢹⠀⢸⠉⣿⠀⢸⠀⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⣾⠉⠙⢻⡇⠀⠁⠠⡏⠀⠀⢸⠀⣴⠚⠁
⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⢿⠀⠘⠶⠃⠀⡿⣧⠀⠙⠦⠖⣾⡇⠀⣷⡀⠘⢆⠀⢸⠛⢿⠀⠀
⠀⠘⠒⠚⠈⠓⠒⠒⠚⠒⠛⠈⠓⠒⠒⠒⠛⠓⠒⠃⠙⠒⠚ ⠘⠒⠚⠀

I'm telling you, this dude is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day and he was buying cases of Redbull and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said, "they help contain my full power so I don't completely $hit on these kids" and then he bunny hopped out the door, if you think you're good at fps games then you've probably never played against this dude before, because he's just that good.