don't even know what to write, but i gotta learn eventually so whatevs
it's always awkward trying to describe myself, i just don't know what to say, what counts as something worth mentioning? i dunno, maybe let's consider this a journal of sorts?

hey look! it's all grayish, i don't feel like formatting rn tho, maybe later

always wanted to write smth here just never really bothered trying since i dislike my own writing, just feels cringy, i wanna learn not to care tho, it's tiring to stay in one place and never make a change

not sure what i'm trying to achieve here, i think it's a way to cope?

what works better, longer or shorter paragraphs? i can do either, just whatever's easier to read
i wouldn't know, i don't know much in general, not so long ago i wasn't even sure i exist

tired, really really tired, knowing myself this mood will pass soon anyway, all i can do is wait...
waiting is.. annoying, wish i could have a bigger influence of how things are, maybe there's a way

despite how it may look like, i'm not depressed! not in the slightest, just hurty a bit, for now
i could call it a cycle but cycle implies there's a specific set of events which keep repeating

in this case however, there's no trigger and lack of any rules as to how it works, it's all about waiting it out, getting another mood and working with it, tough part is, i got no time to get used to either

not asking for much i just want the pain to stop, it really isn't much, please just let it happen, please