*NOTICE*
This summary isnt bland, so keep on reading <3
But you must be over 5’10” to read this profile.

I am most likely on my computer and will answer messages quickly.

I am probably not on my computer and I may or may not answer messages sent to me.

I don't think this one needs much explaining.

*IMPORTANT*
I give stripshows for every gifted game.
I can benchpress 10 pounds
I have a penis.
I bathe every day.

When my igloo melts and the water goes into my router.

A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

I'm not very good with the newer versions of Microsoft Office. I like Office 97 the best.

Rubber bands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-Exceptionally good with sarcastic, smart ass remarks
-Able to sit in my chair for extended periods of time without numbness or fatigue
-Eating
-Wasting time
-I can twerk. No not the dancing motion. Twiddlin' my tits at work
-Making lists

The act or habit of describing or regarding something as unimportant, of having no value or being worthless.

1. Prepare the Turkey for Roasting
2. Heat the Oven to 450°F
3. Roast the Turkey
4. Baste the Turkey
5. Check the Temperature
6. Rest the Turkey
7. Carve the Turkey

1. Professionally Taken Photograph
2. Attention Getting Headline
3. Complete Experiences, Keyword-Rich
4. Connections, Websites, Customized URL
5. Compelling, Interesting Summary (Like this one)
6. Clear Call to Action

-Your ex is still talking to you.
-You want me to help with home renos or building a fence.
-You suspect you have any STD’s or unexplained rashes or cold sores.
-You go to a tanning salon more than 12 times a week.
-You have a mullet of any kind.
-You have a tattoo of any kind on your forehead.
-Your front teeth are missing.
-You are looking to make your ex jealous.
-You are a single mom with 12 kids who is on any kind of government assistance, or enrolled in a social housing program.
-You live with more than 12 cats and dress them up in clothing, give them human names like Mr. Whiskers or Lady Priscilla and have make believe tea parties with them.
-If you think it's better than Craigslist.

Sunshine. Just kidding. The real answer to that is puppies. And math.
Yes, you read that correctly. I don't understand how to throw a disc golf disc correctly.

1. Craigslist
2. Interwebs
3. Jebus (Correct spelling)
4. Butts. I like butts.
5. Making lists

1. Download a hack
2. Run the hack
3. Enjoy the VAC Ban