[MAY CONTAIN VAGUE SPOILERS?]

I will never forget my first playthrough of Dark Souls III.

It was the darkest time of my entire life. Numb and burdened with profound, abyssal grief, I embarked upon this spiritual pilgrimage of a game, seeking some kind of strength, for loss had left me devoid of it.

I arose from the grave as mere ash, frail and sorrowful, yet feeling empty. Before me stood the decomposing carcass of a kingdom desperately yearning to wither away. This once vibrant, sunlit world, was now restless, pale and cold as a corpse. It was stagnant, seemingly unable to die. There's a tragic beauty in that, which circumstance had forced me to appreciate, many months before I picked up this game. Even so, I understood the necessity of its eternal rest all too well.

Throughout this perillous journey of mine, each battle won, each foe beheaded, brought me comfort, more than anything. To allow a weak, tormented being finally rest in peace, after having suffered through an age of mental and physical agony, is as utterly cathartic, as it is heartbreaking.

Then, at the end of it all, after so many hours, I unsheathed my sword for the last time. This battle and what followed after it, was the emotional climax of my first playthrough. After the final blow, I stood for a while, gazing at the fiery skies above, reminding me of the ouroboric nature of it all. I wanted to let this rotting world fade into the darkness that once birthed it and, determined, I did so. Those still lingering and those long departed would, finally, be at peace. So will I, in time.

There is just something so brutally devastating about understanding the trauma that keeping the flame alive would cause, but, despite that, still wishing for its embers to persist, because of the warmth and comfort they have always provided. The fading of the fire, though, will not bring forth death, but instead, a mere change; the grand transformation of the world and its inhabitants into a different, new state of being. That's life. Resisting change, on the other hand, which in this case is resisting and fearing the dark, is stagnancy, lack of life, death.

When the credits rolled and that somber music started playing, tears fell. They didn't stop for quite a while. The specific ending I got really spoke to me, having lost what's now long gone and learning to accept reality and live with it. I found so many parallels between the fear of the age of darkness, the fading of the fire and what I've gone through. My journey in Dark Souls III has left me marked and will haunt me for a long, long time. It helped me grieve, let go of her passing and acknowledge the strength deep within me, which is something I will need going forward.

Some times, after all the intense battles, when that piercing silence would sink in and I'd gaze upon all the ruins and the castles, this game was like a warm hug.

Lastly, regarding the art, the enviroments, the boss designs, the music, the armors, the weapons, the gameplay and the characters, I loved it all and I had such a blast. It was so fun.

I write this review after just 100% completing the game. It's rather emotional, but Dark Souls III means so much to me and... I wanted to share that.

beat nameless king first try

playing alone = rage session
playing with friends = fun!!!