A stodgy, autismal, over-conservative music professor and fugue-fetishist was teaching a class on Johann Sebastian Bach, known lardass.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Baroque era and accept that it was the most productive period in the history of Western art music, even more than Viennese Classicism!”

At this moment a brave, impeccably dressed, inebriated contemporary composer who had just snorted a line of coke off a teenage classmate's back and understood the folly of a(r/u)tistic movements such as serialism and fully supported the preservation and continuation of the true old masters' legacies stood and held up a composition notebook.

”Professor, do you recognize this piece?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Lutheranly as he leafed through the notebook. "Why, there's nothing in here but blank manuscript paper, you stupid pedophile. Is it 4'33"?"

"No. It's an opera. If J.S. Bach, as you say, is categorically the greatest composer of all time... then he should have written one, and it should be in this book."

The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his chalk and 80-disc Glenn Gould boxed set. He stormed out of the room crying Bach fanboy crocodile tears, the same tears all autismal fanboys cry when someone else's favorite composer is different from theirs. There is no doubt at all that our professor, an anonymous craven coward who balked at accepting responsibility for his 4chan posts by using a tripcode on /mu/, wished he had taken the time to appreciate music beneath its surface aesthetics and understand the incalculable grace and poise of the great Classical masterpieces and deep intellectual current which runs beneath their simple veneer. In the final moments before his suicide, he wished so much for a requiem mass to be sung at his funeral, but alas! The lazy Bach had neglected to write any of those, either!

The students applauded and all finally "got" Mozart that day and the patricians among them split into groups to form chamber ensembles. A firetruck roared past outside and the plebeians in the class, mistaking it for their favorite Tchaikovsky pieces, rushed out into the street to listen and were flattened. A bird named Franz Schubert flew into the room but the meme didn't catch on and it left before anyone noticed. The Heiligenstadt Testament was read aloud several times and the Great Patrician himself showed up to congratulate everyone on their good taste.