I started this game thinking I’d be a noble hero. Five minutes in, I stole a bucket, wore it as a helmet, and got into a fistfight with a chicken.
The combat is amazing, but also terrifying. One moment, I’m strategically planning my moves like a chess grandmaster. The next, I’ve accidentally set the entire battlefield ablaze, including my own party. My friends screamed at me in voice chat as I calmly explained, “Fire is just nature’s hug.”
The story is incredible, but let’s be honest: I spent half the game arguing with my co-op partner about whether we should kill NPCs for loot or let them live because they were “nice.” Spoiler: We killed them. They weren’t that nice.
Also, I tried to romance a lizard. It didn’t go well. Turns out, lizards don’t appreciate being serenaded with stolen loot and bad jokes. Who knew?
In conclusion:
Accidentally poisoned my own party? Check.
Got arrested for stealing a barrel I didn’t need? Check.
Argued with a squirrel riding a skeleton cat? Check.
Best game ever? Absolutely.

11/10 Would betray my friends for loot again.