"We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us." - Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

2015-
"You get what you inspect, not what you expect." - Jim Egbert, 2015

2016-
"Syria belongs to the Nords! GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA!" - Austin, 2016

"If I imagine this stick is a tentacle, does it count?" - Phan, 2016

"Ask not what you can steal from your bank, but what your bank can steal from you." - Zach, 2016

"To change is to live, and to live is to die knowing you existed to change life itself." - Patrick, 2016

2017-
"Are you assuming my socialism?" - Patrick, 2017

"Tax evasion is illegal. Tax avoidence is not." - Calvin, 2017

"Fortune favors the ballsy." - Patrick, 2017

"Vigil isn't even English, it's Korean...isn't it?" - Dalton, 2017 (On the topic of the word Vigil as Korean and not an English word)

"John, can you cook sushi?"
"You don't cook sushi, you make it you dumbass." - Nam and John Part 1, Payday 2; 2017

"Ooh its a jetpack."
"Its scuba gear you dɪpshit." - Nam and John Part 2, Payday 2, 2017

"Tilikum had a KD of 3 and 21 kids? He must've had a WHALE of a time!" - Calvin, 2017

"How much nuffin could a dundu do if a dindu didn't do nuffin?" - Cole; 2017

2018-
"No calculus=evolved anime." - a quote on my convuluted/autistic theory of "Without the Two Bombs, Anime Could Have Evolved," - Patrick; 2018

"I haven't killed one person yet."
"But what about the person stabbed to death in the kitchen?"
"Oh, he was Indian." - Calvin and Phan, Rimworld; 2018

"If I wanted to kill myself, I'd jump from your ego to your skill." - Nam; 2018

2019-
"I actually look more male than female." - Wii Mii creation; Patrick; July 4, 2019

"Tfw you don't like cigarette smoke so you go to the bomb making section." - Kevin; July 4, 2019

2020-
"Why should I juke when I can jerk?" - Quinn; 2020

"Beating your meat doesn't mean beating your meat." - John; April 19, 2020

"As Sun Tzu once said: without cøck and ball, there is only torture." - Nolan; December 10, 2020

2021-
"I'm only rascist to Lucian, Senna, and Ekko."
"Those are black people"
"Nooo..."-John and Patrick, League of Legends; April 4, 2021

"I just killed a fυcking monkey named Squidward." - Evan, ARK; July 12, 2021

2022
"Naut takeover!" -Evan, League of Legends; June 6, 2022

2023
"Kobogma you have to attack him." - Evan, League of Legends; April 5, 2023

April 14, 2020
8:35 PST
Quinn, Nam, and Dalton lost a Bot LOL game. Absolute Trash.

August 13, 2021
5:50 CDT
Calvin literally destroyed Tasch's bathroom. Such genetic inferiority, many wow bowel movements.
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Commie Court case(s) listened and judged-

1. Sheldon v. Henri (2015) "The Double-Faggotry Case"

Sheldon called Henri a faggöt due to an argument over a Dota 2 game. Sheldon then calls Henri's opinion stupid, when Henri insists that it is a fact. Sheldon then proceeds to call Henri a faggöt a second time, in which Henri calls for a court case in the name of Commie. The case begins by me asking Henri what calls for Sheldon to be a faggöt. Where he states that his physical appearance and personality "yells faggöt." Sheldon rebukes that evidence that the definition of a 'faggöt' is a bundle of sticks intertwined in wire, or a homosexual. Henri then immediately adds that Sheldon 'vapes,' which is meant to be a supporting claim that Sheldon is a faggöt since the mumble server defines a vaper as a "faggöt" as well. Sheldon then defends himself by stating that it "takes one to know one." Where Henri then agrees with statement. But before the official decision can be made on who is a faggöt. Fishy Johnson was asked for his opinion on the matter, where he immediately replies by saying "allahu akbar." Therefore, by the evidence presented and proven, I decided that both of them were faggöts and immediately called for a termination of the current mumble conversation by kicking both of them. In future related arguments over "faggötry," the mumble server can define what a faggöt is by comparing themselves to either Sheldon or Henri.
Examples:
Faggötry- Sheldontry, Henritry

January 23, 2016; 3:21 pm PST, 6:21 pm EST
2.Dalton v. Derik (2016) "Dalton the Trailer-Trash Kid Case"

Derik proclaims that Dalton is indeed "trailer trash" due to evidence of: 1.He is a Nascar fan 2.His sister is also his cousin and his gf 3.Has a hillybilly brother 4.Lives in a trailer-park 5.And lives in Ohio. Dalton's defending evidence is: 1.Actually has no sister. (Derik immediately rebukes that all girls in the trailer park are his sisters). 2.Does not own a truck.(Noor calls him a faggöt, Nathaniel also calls him a Hamlet [Manlet- not a man]) 3.Lives in the city? (Derik asks what do you call when you have a group of trailers together??) 4.His house is bigger than Phan's house. (Drew however proclaims that he has a mansion-trailer)
Due to the weak rebuttals Dalton stated, Dalton is OFFICIALLY A TRAILER-TRASH KID. Dalton however proclaims that the jury is biased, where'as Derrick asks what is Dalton's favorite truck (Chevy Silveraedo). However the new evidence will not be added due to Double-Jeopardy. For future inferences, Dalton has the official title of "Trailer-Trash Kid."

Summer of 2016 (No official date; transcript was lost)
3. Avery v. Cole (2016) "The Ownership Trial"

Data was lost due to unknown circumstances, but the only data recovered was that if Cole was to remove Avery's "property," he would be violating Avery's rights as a white man. Therefore a compromise was set that if said "property" were to wander off the property grounds (not in Avery's channel), he would need to be put down by the state.

January 9, 2021; 7:05 pm PST, 9:05 pm EST
4.Cole v. Commie Court (2021) "The Tolerance Trial"

As the Mumble server is home to video games, jokes, free speech, and casual living. It is rare to have a case serious enough to dictate serious conversation, and serious consequences. With feelings and opinions built up over years, many members of the server are no longer tolerant of Cole's antisemitism, homophobia, misogyny, and recently, possible sedition. Calvin, Nam, John, and I, preemptively agreed to ban Cole's friends and Cole himself. We wait for Cole to get on and converse with Calvin at first to hear why he was banned. Generally a summary of everyone's gripes against him. An intervention was then made as we was put up to speed as we then each gave our opinions about him. Topics of loneliness, statistics, second chances, understanding of Patriot Front, and Cole giving his opinion to defend his behavior were spoken. After debate and deliberation, we have decided to give him a second chance if he is able to work on his general attitude and what he says on the server around us.

September 15, 2022; 10:20 pm CST
5. Uwu v. Commie Court (2022) "The Breach"

The sanctity of the mumble server had been compromised as a wave of bots began joining the server. Either connecting and then immediately disconnecting, or in this case uwu connecting. The individual known as uwu stated that he knew "John," whether they were actually looking for John or a Jon character. Uwu gave short and inconsistent responses back to the rest of the good citizens of commie court as he was peppered by questions. Ranging from the asinine by Graham, the genuinely useful questions by Calvin, and then the screeches by Phan as demands of "someone go get John." John finally connected to the server and was asked how uwu knew John. He responded by stating he played with him on Minecraft and Counter Strike. He was finally then asked what he knew John for, and a response out of pure comedy couldn't have been better said as he knew John as a "furry." Uwu was then promptly banned but due to having a VPN was continuously reconnecting. Thankfully he was still promptly re-banned, but it has become a struggle to ban him quickly as Calvin struggled to put his two brain cells together to create a password. Once the password had been placed, the sanctity of the Mumble server had been restored.