A great educational game where they’ll kindly teach you Polish, English, and Turkish.

After playing this game, you’ll easily be able to share information in four different languages—or tell people to uck off in them.

And if you run into Russians, you’ll discover just how cultured they are. They’ll tell you things you didn’t even know yourself: they understand your family better than you do, know how many men your mother had besides your father, and may even inform you that you don’t have a mother at all.

No matter how successful you are in real life, here you’ll just be an average player, because everyone is equal. Such players are affectionately called “skuf,” “imbecile,” “ucking low-tab,” and many other wonderful names.

Female players are especially lucky. As soon as people hear your beautiful voice, they start screaming, “OH, A WOMAAAN!” and praising you. They’ll immediately advise you to go to the kitchen and cook something for them, because they know that nobody cooks better than you.

The people here are obedient and tactful. When playing as terrorists, they wait patiently and carefully plant the bomb. When playing as counter-terrorists, they run as fast as they can to stop them.

The anti-cheat system, VAC, is the best—because there are absolutely no cheaters here.

If someone kills you from the other side of the map while spinning around, it simply means they’re really good at the game and you still have a lot to learn.

The best game I’ve ever played. Highly recommended—play it and enjoy!