Recent reviews by Bluesal

Unveiling the Origins of Assassin's Creed: A Layman Gamer's Perspective

As a casual gamer with a penchant for immersive narratives and exploration, diving into Assassin's Creed Origins was like embarking on a thrilling journey through time. Having loved many of the previous titles of the series, I must admit, Origins brings a refreshing change to the franchise.

First things first, let's talk about the evolution. Compared to its predecessors, Origins marks a significant departure in terms of gameplay mechanics. Combat feels more refined and strategic, with a greater emphasis on timing and skill. While the essence of stealth remains intact, the game encourages a more dynamic approach, allowing players to tackle challenges in a variety of ways. It's a welcome change that injects new life into the series without straying too far from its roots.

The heart and soul of Origins lie in its richly detailed environment and captivating story. Ancient Egypt comes to life in stunning detail, from the bustling streets of Alexandria to the serene beauty of the Nile Delta. Every corner is teeming with life, whether it's merchants haggling in the market or crocodiles lurking in the marshes. It's a testament to the developers' dedication to historical authenticity, and it pays off in spades.

But perhaps the most compelling aspect of Origins is its story. Set against the backdrop of Ptolemaic Egypt, the game weaves a tale of political intrigue, betrayal, and redemption. As Bayek, a Medjay sworn to protect the innocent, players are thrust into a world rife with conflict and turmoil. The journey is not just about assassinating targets, but unravelling the mysteries of a civilisation on the brink of collapse. It's a narrative that keeps you hooked from start to finish, driven by compelling characters and unexpected twists.

Of course, what would an Assassin's Creed game be without exploration? Origins delivers in spades, offering a vast open world ripe for discovery. Whether you're scaling the towering pyramids of Giza or delving into hidden tombs buried beneath the desert sands, there's always something new to uncover. And thanks to a revamped progression system, the more you explore, the more you're rewarded. It's a perfect marriage of gameplay and exploration, ensuring that every step feels like a new adventure.

In conclusion, Assassin's Creed Origins is a triumph on multiple fronts. It successfully revitalises the franchise with its refined mechanics, immersive world-building, and gripping narrative. Whether you're a longtime fan or a newcomer to the series, there's something here for everyone. So don your hood, sharpen your blade, and prepare to embark on an unforgettable journey through ancient Egypt.

Destiny 2: A Rollercoaster Ride of Galactic Greatness and Guardian Gaffes

Welcome, fellow Guardians, to the wild and wacky world of Destiny 2, where space magic meets intergalactic mayhem in a dance-off of cosmic proportions. Grab your Ghosts and buckle up, because we're about to take a joyride through the highs and lows of Bungie's sci-fi extravaganza.

The Good:

Epic Space Opera: Destiny 2 plunges you headfirst into a gorgeously rendered universe brimming with alien worlds, towering skyscrapers, and enough explosions to make Michael Bay blush. It's like starring in your very own blockbuster movie, complete with dramatic music and plenty of opportunities to strike a heroic pose.

Gunplay Galore: Shooting stuff has never felt this satisfying. From pulse rifles that crackle with energy to hand cannons that pack a punch like a heavyweight champ, Destiny 2 boasts a smorgasbord of weaponry that'll leave you grinning like a Cheshire Cat on a caffeine high. Plus, there's nothing quite like mowing down hordes of alien baddies with a well-placed headshot.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Whether you're tackling a raid with your buddies or going toe-to-toe in PvP showdowns, Destiny 2 shines brightest when you're working together as a team. Sure, there'll be the occasional Leroy Jenkins who charges in guns blazing and promptly gets turned into space dust, but hey, that's all part of the fun.

The Bad:

Plot Twists? More Like Plot Holes: Let's be real here—trying to make sense of Destiny 2's storyline is like attempting to unravel a ball of yarn that's been gnawed on by a particularly mischievous cat. Sure, there are hints of a grand cosmic conspiracy involving ancient aliens and whatnot, but good luck trying to piece it all together without consulting a wiki or three.

Grind, Grind, Grind: Ah, the sweet, sweet agony of the grind. Whether you're endlessly farming for that elusive exotic weapon or running the same strike for the umpteenth time in hopes of snagging some sweet loot, Destiny 2 isn't afraid to test your patience. It's like Groundhog Day, but with more aliens and fewer Bill Murray quips.

Microtransaction Madness: Ever feel like your wallet is being slowly drained by a thousand tiny cuts? Welcome to the world of microtransactions, where even your Ghost isn't safe from being pimped out with the latest cosmetic doodads. Sure, you could earn that spiffy new shader through gameplay, but why bother when you can just swipe your credit card and be done with it?

In conclusion, Destiny 2 is a game of highs and lows, a rollercoaster ride through the cosmos that'll leave you exhilarated one moment and scratching your head in bewilderment the next. But hey, isn't that what makes it all so darn entertaining? I know I've had a lot of fun with it. So grab your Guardian gear, rally your fireteam, and get ready to shoot for the stars. Just watch out for those pesky plot holes along the way.

Alright, gather round, fellow casual gamers, for the epic tale of my journey through Elden Ring. Spoiler alert: it was like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. In other words, it was an absolute circus.

First off, let's talk about character creation. I spent a good hour tweaking my avatar's nose length, only to realise later that in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter because my face was going to be hidden behind a helmet 99% of the time. Thanks for letting me agonise over nostril size, FromSoftware.

Then there's the combat. Oh boy, the combat. I swung my sword like a toddler flailing at a piñata, hoping for some sweet loot to fall out. But instead, I got a swift kick in the teeth from a skeletal knight who probably chuckled at my feeble attempts. And don't even get me started on the dodge mechanic—I dodged right into more trouble than I dodged out of. It's like my character had a death wish.

Exploration? Yeah, that was a laugh. I set out to conquer the vast open world of Elden Ring, only to find myself lost in the woods faster than Hansel and Gretel on a sugar rush. Every time I thought I was making progress, a giant monster or a gang of bandits would pop out of nowhere and remind me that I was just a puny mortal in a world of pain.

Oh, and let's not forget the story. I'm sure it's deep and meaningful, with layers upon layers of lore waiting to be uncovered. But honestly, I was too busy trying not to get skewered by a dragon to pay attention to the intricacies of the plot. Call me when there's a "Casual Gamer" difficulty setting that comes with a CliffsNotes version of the storyline.

But you know what? Despite all the frustration, Elden Ring somehow managed to keep me coming back for more punishment. Maybe it's the gorgeous landscapes, or the adrenaline rush of finally taking down a boss after a hundred failed attempts. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment. Either way, Elden Ring gets a solid 10 out of 10 for making me feel simultaneously triumphant and utterly incompetent. It's a special kind of masochism, and I can't get enough of it.

Prepare yourself for a whirlwind of chaos, laughter, and questionable life choices - because that's just a regular Tuesday in Baldur's Gate 3!

Let me paint you a picture: You start off creating your character, thinking, 'Ah yes, I shall be the noble hero of this tale.' Fast forward a few hours, and you're making deals with devilish creatures, accidentally setting your entire party on fire with a botched spell, and trying to convince a bear to join your party because, hey, why not?

The game mechanics? Oh, they're as intricate as a spider's web woven by a drunk spider. You'll spend half your time figuring out how to sneak past an enemy, only to trip over a rock and alert the whole camp. And don't even get me started on the dice rolls - it's like gambling with a particularly capricious deity.

But fear not, for amidst the chaos lies the heart of Baldur's Gate 3: the characters. You'll meet companions so quirky they make your aunt's collection of ceramic frogs seem dull. From a snarky rogue with a penchant for puns to a brooding warlock who's one bad day away from writing angsty poetry, each party member is a gem waiting to be unearthed.

And let's not forget the bugs! No, not the creepy crawlies you encounter in dungeons, but the glorious, game-breaking glitches that make you question reality itself. Ever wanted to see your character do the Macarena while fighting a mind flayer? Baldur's Gate 3 delivers.

In conclusion, Baldur's Gate 3 isn't just a game - it's an experience. A rollercoaster ride through a world where anything can happen, and usually does. So gather your courage, sharpen your wit, and dive headfirst into the madness. Just don't forget to bring a fire extinguisher - trust me, you'll need it.

If you're a glutton for punishment with a twisted sense of teamwork, GTFO might just be your digital masochism paradise. Picture this: you and your buddies, armed to the teeth, tiptoeing through hellish corridors infested with Lovecraftian nightmares, all while trying not to scream obscenities at each other. Welcome to GTFO, where the only thing scarier than the monsters lurking in the shadows is the prospect of coordinating with your friends.

Let's talk about frustrations. Oh boy, where do I start? Ever had that heart-stopping moment when you accidentally alert a horde of grotesque creatures because someone sneezed into their mic? Yep, GTFO's got plenty of those. And just when you thought you had the perfect plan to stealthily navigate through a level, someone decides it's a brilliant idea to go full Rambo on a group of sleepers, triggering a cacophony of chaos that would make even the bravest marine wet their pants.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. GTFO is a masterpiece when it comes to showcasing the fragility of human relationships under pressure. Remember that time Steve forgot to refill his ammo before a big fight and you had to sacrifice your last health pack to keep him alive? Yeah, good times. And let's not forget the classic "who stole my glow stick" debate that's bound to erupt at least once per session, sparking a heated argument that makes the monsters outside seem downright cuddly in comparison.

In GTFO, communication is key. Or so they say. In reality, it's more like a cacophony of conflicting commands and panicked screams that would make a kindergarten teacher weep. "Shoot the big one!" "No, not that big one, the other big one!" "Who has the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ keycard?!" It's like trying to orchestrate a symphony with a bunch of tone-deaf cats.

But amidst all the frustrations and co-op dramas, there's a strange beauty to GTFO. It's the kind of game that makes you question your friendships, your sanity, and whether or not you should invest in a better headset with noise-cancelling capabilities. So, grab your friends, steel your nerves, and prepare to descend into the depths of madness. Just don't forget to pack extra ammo and maybe a couple of stress balls. You're gonna need 'em.

Do you often find yourself daydreaming about rewriting history, building empires from scratch, or leading your people to glory? Well, pack your virtual bags and prepare for a journey through the ages with Sid Meier's Civilization VI, the latest installment in the beloved franchise that lets you fulfill all your wildest historical fantasies without ever having to leave your couch.

From the moment you boot up the game, you're greeted with the dulcet tones of Sean Bean narrating the epic tale of your civilization's rise to greatness. And let's be honest, if there's anyone you want guiding you through the annals of history, it's the guy who dies in every movie but somehow manages to make it sound profound.

Once you've chosen your civilization, whether it's the industrious Germans, the cultured French, or the sneaky sneaky Cree, it's time to dive headfirst into the world of hexagons and turn-based strategy. Don't worry if you're not a seasoned veteran of the series – Civilization VI does an admirable job of holding your hand through the early stages, gently nudging you towards greatness while simultaneously giving you enough rope to hang yourself with.

The gameplay itself is a delicate balance of exploration, expansion, exploitation, and extermination – or as I like to call it, the four Es of empire-building. Whether you're peacefully trading with your neighbors, waging all-out war for domination, or just trying to figure out what the heck a "builder" does, there's never a dull moment in the world of Civilization VI.

Of course, no review of Civilization VI would be complete without mentioning the game's AI, which ranges from surprisingly competent to hilariously inept. One moment you'll be engaged in a tense diplomatic standoff with Catherine de Medici, and the next you'll be watching in disbelief as Gandhi declares war on you for literally no reason whatsoever. It's all part of the charm, really.

But perhaps the true beauty of Civilization VI lies in its ability to make you feel like a brilliant strategist one moment and a clueless fool the next. Just when you think you've got everything under control, your people revolt, your economy collapses, and your best-laid plans go up in smoke faster than you can say "one more turn."

In the end, though, isn't that what makes Civilization VI so endlessly addictive? It's not just a game – it's a lesson in humility, a testament to the folly of man, and a stark reminder that no matter how many wonders you build or civilizations you conquer, you're always just one barbarian horde away from disaster.

So whether you're a seasoned veteran of the series or a wide-eyed newcomer just dipping your toes into the waters of world domination, Sid Meier's Civilization VI is sure to provide countless hours of entertainment, enlightenment, and exasperation. Just remember to set an alarm for work tomorrow – because once you start playing, you won't want to stop until you've built your empire from the Stone Age to the Information Age and beyond.

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, the game that answers the age-old question: What would happen if Einstein's time machine was hijacked by an over-caffeinated history buff? Well, strap yourselves in, because this game doesn't just break the fourth wall; it shatters it into a million tiny pieces and then uses those pieces to build a time-travelling tank.

Let's talk about the storyline, shall we? Picture this: You've got your Soviet Union, your Allied Forces, and a brand-spankin' new Empire of the Rising Sun thrown into the mix. Oh, and did I mention there's a mad Soviet Premier, a scheming Allied commander, and an Emperor who's apparently mistaken feudal Japan for a robot factory? Yeah, that's the kind of narrative we're dealing with here.

Now, gameplay-wise, Red Alert 3 is like a strategy buffet where everything's been seasoned with a healthy dose of insanity. You want to command an army of bears? Done. How about unleashing dolphins armed with sonic weapons? No problem. And let's not forget the pièce de résistance: giant floating fortresses that wouldn't look out of place in a steampunk fever dream.

But wait, there's more! The game's live-action cutscenes are the cherry on top of this absurd sundae. From Tim Curry hamming it up as Premier Cherdenko to George Takei commanding a fleet of giant transforming robots, it's like watching a B-movie marathon hosted by your favourite cult actors.

In terms of strategy, Red Alert 3 is both accessible and deep, like a kiddie pool that unexpectedly drops off into the Mariana Trench. Sure, you can spam tanks and overwhelm your enemies with sheer numbers, but why do that when you can unleash a squadron of airborne bears armed with flamethrowers? The possibilities are as endless as they are ridiculous.

In conclusion, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 is the kind of game that reminds you why you fell in love with strategy games in the first place. It's chaotic, over-the-top, and about as historically accurate as a time-travelling T-Rex wearing sunglasses. So, grab your favourite faction, fire up the Tesla coils, and prepare for a wild ride through the wackiest war in gaming history. Just remember to bring your sense of humour – you're gonna need it.

Dark Souls Remastered: A Casual's Odyssey into the Depths of Frustration

Let me preface this review by saying that if you're a casual gamer like me, approaching Dark Souls Remastered is akin to volunteering for a medieval torture experiment with a controller in hand. FromSoftware, the masterminds behind this game, must have looked at traditional gaming conventions and thought, "You know what? Let's take all of that and toss it into a fire pit guarded by an immortal, fire-breathing dragon." And thus, Dark Souls was born.

First off, let's talk about character creation. You spend ages crafting the perfect hero, sculpting their nose just right, selecting the optimal hairdo to strike fear into the hearts of enemies... and then you step out into the world and get promptly squished by the first enemy you encounter. It's like spending hours getting dressed for a party only to trip on the welcome mat and faceplant into the dip.

Ah, the combat system. Where do I even begin? Dark Souls doesn't just have difficulty settings; it has a single difficulty called "Good Luck, You're Gonna Need It." Every enemy encounter feels like a mini-boss battle, and half the time, you're not even sure if you're fighting the enemy or the camera angles. You swing your sword with all the grace of a flailing noodle, hoping against hope that this time, you'll hit something other than thin air. Spoiler alert: you won't.

Let's talk about the level design, shall we? Dark Souls' world is like a twisted maze designed by a sadistic architect who moonlights as a demon. You'll find yourself traversing through gloomy catacombs, treacherous forests, and castles filled with more traps than a James Bond villain's lair. Oh, and just when you think you've finally found your way, you fall down a hidden pit and end up back at square one. It's like the game is playing a cruel game of "gotcha" with your sanity.

And let's not forget the bosses. Oh, the bosses. These towering monstrosities make the Hulk look like a delicate flower. You'll spend hours strategising, dodging, and rolling like a particularly panicked circus performer, only to be squished into oblivion by a single swipe of their ginormous weapon. It's like playing a game of chess where your opponent can flip the board and eat your pieces whenever they feel like it.

But you know what? Despite all the frustration, all the rage-induced controller throwing, there's something strangely addictive about Dark Souls. Maybe it's the sense of accomplishment you feel when you finally defeat a boss after 457 attempts. Or maybe it's the camaraderie you share with fellow players as you commiserate over your collective failures. Whatever it is, Dark Souls has a way of sucking you in and refusing to let go, like a particularly clingy ex-girlfriend.

So, if you're a glutton for punishment, a masochist with a penchant for punishment, or just a casual gamer looking to test your sanity, Dark Souls Remastered is the game for you. Just don't say I didn't warn you. And remember, praise the sun... before it smites you into oblivion.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution Director's Cut isn't just a polished-up reissue—it's a cyberpunk revival. As Adam Jensen, you weave through a tapestry of corporate espionage and ethical conundrums. This version stands out with its total freedom in gameplay; whether you prefer stealth or going full cyborg with your augments, every choice reshapes the world.

Graphically revamped, the neon-drenched streets and shadowy corridors have never felt more alive. The atmospheric soundtrack complements every stealthy move and moral crossroads, enhancing the cinematic feel.

The Director's Cut smooths over the original's rough edges, with retooled boss fights offering strategies for all play styles and seamlessly integrated DLC enriching the narrative depth.

Overall, Deus Ex: Human Revolution Director's Cut is a masterclass in immersive storytelling and player-driven action, making it a must-play for any gamer hungry for a blend of action and agency.

Divinity: Original Sin 2, the game where you can accidentally set your own party members on fire while trying to roast a chicken. It's like a fantasy RPG and a comedy of errors had a baby, and that baby is a masterpiece.

First off, let's talk about character creation. You can spend hours crafting the perfect hero, meticulously adjusting their appearance, only to realise five minutes into the game that you've invested all your skill points in making them amazing at basket weaving, but utterly useless in a fight against a single squirrel.

The world of Rivellon is vast and beautiful, filled with vibrant landscapes, intriguing characters, and enough side quests to make even the most dedicated completionist question their life choices. But beware, for every noble quest to save the realm, there's a side quest involving talking animals, cursed cheese, or a love triangle between a skeleton, a lizard, and a sentient carrot. And yes, that's as hilarious as it sounds.

Combat in DOS2 is a delicate dance of strategy and chaos. One moment you're executing a flawless plan to take down a powerful enemy, and the next, your own wizard is summoning a rainstorm that electrifies your entire party because they forgot to take off their metal armour. It's like playing chess with explosive chess pieces, and it's gloriously unpredictable.

And let's not forget the multiplayer experience, where you and your friends can work together to overcome challenges or sabotage each other's efforts in the most absurd ways possible. Accidentally teleporting your buddy into a pit of lava? Classic.

But amidst all the chaos and laughter, there's a surprising depth to Divinity: Original Sin 2. The story is rich and engaging, with memorable characters and moral dilemmas that will make you question your own humanity. Plus, the game's intricate systems and mechanics give players the freedom to approach every situation in their own unique way, whether that's through diplomacy, stealth, or just setting everything on fire and hoping for the best.

In conclusion, Divinity: Original Sin 2 Definitive Edition is an absolute gem of a game that blends humour, strategy, and storytelling into a fantastical adventure unlike any other. Just remember to save often, embrace the chaos, and never trust a talking chicken. Trust me on that one.