Dear God, I never thought I'd
Lose this much this time
It's a living hell tonight
For the hundredth f*cking time
My God, I can't justify
These old fears despite
When worlds apart, one lone heart
Still beats in unison with mine

I see your ghost
Every time my eyes close
Will you stay if I never wake?
I'd really like to know

You were the tourniquet that kept my heart in time
Can't even bear the weight that's mine
Now I'd just rather not be alive

Why do I get like this?

I am a self-inflicting, life-crippling, natural disaster
I'll find peace when I'm held only by the rafters