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Recent reviews by end

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Showing 1-10 of 36 entries
2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
3.2 hrs on record (2.2 hrs at review time)
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is like stepping into a visually stunning, emotionally charged rollercoaster ride that you never want to end. If you thought the first Hellblade was intense, brace yourself because this sequel is on another level.

First off, let's talk about those graphics. Seriously, the game looks like a freakin' painting come to life. The environments are so detailed, you can almost feel the chill in the air and the rough texture of the stones. Senua herself looks incredible <3, with every facial expression and movement captured perfectly. If you've got a next-gen console or a beast of a PC, this game will make your jaw drop.

And the sound design? Holy moly, it’s amazing. The whispers in Senua’s head are back, creeping you out in the best way possible. Play this with headphones on and you’ll feel like you’re right there with her, hearing every eerie whisper and ambient noise. The music? Epic. It ramps up the tension and emotion in all the right places.

Gameplay is tight. The combat is brutal and makes you feel like a total badass when you pull off a perfect dodge and counterattack. It's challenging, but not in a "throw your controller at the wall" kind of way. And exploring the world? There’s more to see and do this time around, with some clever puzzles and hidden lore that flesh out the story.

Speaking of the story, get ready for an emotional gut punch. Senua’s journey is as intense and heart-wrenching as ever. Melina Juergens, who plays Senua, absolutely nails it. Her performance is so raw and real, you'll be feeling all the feels right along with her. The game dives deep into themes of mental health, portraying Senua’s psychosis in a way that's both respectful and compelling.

Bottom line, Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is a must-play. Whether you’re a fan of the first game or just looking for something that’s going to stick with you long after you’ve put the controller down, this game delivers. It’s beautiful, it’s intense, and it’s an experience you won’t forget.

So yeah, grab your headphones, find a comfy spot, and dive into Senua’s world. You won’t regret it.
Posted May 21.
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19 people found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
0.5 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Death Must Die or Time Must Die

New roguelite hack and slash survivors game some kind of crazy mix of "Brotato", "Vampire Survivors" and "Hades". Buy if you want to kill time.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Pros:

- The pixel art style in Death Must Die contributes to a sense of nostalgia, harkening back to the visual aesthetics of classic arcade and console games. This adds to the game's charm and resonates with players who have fond memories of retro gaming.
- The characters in Death Must Die are distinct and memorable, with each one having its own set of animations and abilities. The pixel art style allows for clear visual representation of characters, making them easily recognizable during the fast-paced action.
- Despite the pixelated nature of the graphics, the sprites in Death Must Die are detailed and well-crafted. Each character and enemy has a unique design, and the animations are fluid, contributing to a visually engaging experience.

Cons:

- Grind, Grind and Grind. Time must die.
- Occasional Imprecision in Controls: In the midst of frenetic action, some players may experience occasional imprecision in controls. This can be particularly noticeable during intense moments, impacting the fluidity of gameplay.
- Intense Difficulty Spikes: Certain sections present intense difficulty spikes, requiring meticulous planning and execution. While this caters to the hardcore gaming audience, it might be daunting for those seeking a more casual experience.

In summary, Death Must Die stands as a dark fanstasy odyssey that dazzles with remastered brilliance, introduces captivating new survivors, and unfolds a universe of expansive content. While navigating a learning curve and contending with occasional imprecision and difficulty spikes, the overall journey offers a rich and rewarding gaming experience.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted November 14, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
0.9 hrs on record (0.4 hrs at review time)
Risk of Rain Returns - A Cosmic Odyssey with Remastered Brilliance, New Survivors, and Expansive Content

Rating: ★★★★☆

Pros:

- Remastered Visual Brilliance: Immerse yourself in the stunningly remastered graphics that breathe life into the cosmic landscapes of Petrichor V. Every explosion, every encounter with alien foes becomes a visual spectacle, elevating the gaming experience.

- Fresh Survivors: The addition of new survivors injects diversity and complexity into gameplay. Familiar faces like Chef and Enforcer return, alongside the intriguing newcomers. This expands strategic possibilities, offering players a varied and engaging selection of characters.

- Abundant New Content: Risk of Rain Returns isn't just a sequel; it's a comprehensive expansion. Uncover secrets, face new challenges, and explore a universe filled with surprises. The game beckons both seasoned players and newcomers with a wealth of content, ensuring a thrilling adventure.

Cons:

- Learning Curve for Newcomers: The intricate gameplay mechanics and diverse survivor abilities may pose a learning curve for newcomers. While it adds depth to the experience, some may find the initial stages challenging to navigate.

- Occasional Imprecision in Controls: In the midst of frenetic action, some players may experience occasional imprecision in controls. This can be particularly noticeable during intense moments, impacting the fluidity of gameplay.

- Intense Difficulty Spikes: Certain sections present intense difficulty spikes, requiring meticulous planning and execution. While this caters to the hardcore gaming audience, it might be daunting for those seeking a more casual experience.

In summary, Risk of Rain Returns stands as a cosmic odyssey that dazzles with remastered brilliance, introduces captivating new survivors, and unfolds a universe of expansive content. While navigating a learning curve and contending with occasional imprecision and difficulty spikes, the overall journey offers a rich and rewarding gaming experience.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted November 8, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
46.1 hrs on record
Graveyard Keeper - Where I Accidentally Became the Most Sought-After Gravedigger and Got into Heated Debates with Talking Skulls (After 50 Hours of Hilarious Afterlife Adventures)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Graveyard Keeper, the game where I started off as a simple graveyard caretaker and ended up as the go-to gravedigger for the entire afterlife, all while having deep conversations with judgmental talking skulls (after 50 hours of macabre merriment).

Pros:

- I've unlocked the secrets of corpse recycling. Who knew that you could turn a cadaver into a culinary masterpiece? Cooking is just one shovel away from becoming a cooking show on the dark web.
- The game's world is like a surreal parody of medieval life. You'll find yourself trading in skulls, debating philosophy with a donkey, and wondering if you've stumbled into the afterlife's version of a sitcom.
- I've learned that even skulls can have attitude. The snarky comments from talking skulls are like the highlight of my day, next to discovering new ways to make questionable pies.

Cons:

- My graveyard is a labyrinth of oddities. I've buried everything from humans to carrots, and I suspect that my cemetery is the final resting place for a missing sock or two.
- I've developed an irrational fear of mules. The donkey's judgmental eyes follow me wherever I go, as if it's keeping score of my questionable life choices.
- The game's humor is like a dark comedy routine. You'll find yourself chuckling at the absurdity of life, death, and making friends with the deceased.

Graveyard Keeper is a game that takes the macabre and adds a healthy dose of humor and absurdity. It's the kind of game where you'll start with dreams of maintaining a respectable cemetery and end up laughing at the peculiarities of the afterlife.

To those contemplating life, death, and questionable pies: Embrace the oddity, accept that your graveyard is a land of surprises, and remember that in Graveyard Keeper, it's not about the destination; it's about the hilariously morbid journey.

In conclusion, Graveyard Keeper is where I've learned that when life gives you corpses, talking skulls, and dark humor, you bury, you converse, and you laugh through the bizarre afterlife.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted October 25, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
62.3 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Project Zomboid - Where I Survived the Apocalypse by Hoarding Canned Beans and Making Friends with Zombies (After 65 Hours of Undead Shenanigans)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Project Zomboid, the game where I discovered that surviving the zombie apocalypse is all about finding the perfect can opener and getting a part-time job as a zombie whisperer (after 65 hours of undead absurdity).

Pros:

- I've become a can opener connoisseur. In the post-apocalyptic world, the quality of your can opener determines your culinary success, and I've got an eye for top-notch can opening techniques.
- The game's world is like an undead sandbox. From boarding up windows to setting up a base, you're basically the Bob Ross of zombie survival, just with more gore and less happy little trees.
- I've learned that in the zombie apocalypse, even the undead can be misunderstood. Who knew that zombies just needed a friend? I've had conversations with them, complete with groaning and the occasional nibble.

Cons:

- My survival strategy involves more running than a marathon. I've sprinted through hordes of zombies, only to find myself cornered and screaming "Not like this!" like a B-movie hero.
- I've developed a fear of kitchen knives. They're a crucial tool for survival, but they've also ended more of my desperate last stands than I'd like to admit.
- The game's humor is like a dark comedy sketch. You'll find yourself laughing at the ridiculousness of crafting a makeshift spear while surrounded by the undead.

To those contemplating the undead: Embrace the can opener, accept the zombie conversations, and remember that in Project Zomboid, it's not about just surviving; it's about having a blast in the apocalypse.

In conclusion, Project Zomboid is where I've learned that when life gives you canned beans, undead friends, and dark humor, you open, you befriend, and you laugh through the zombified chaos.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆

P.S.; Why don't zombies eat comedians? Because they taste funny! :D
Posted October 25, 2023.
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33 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
63.1 hrs on record
Risk of Rain (2013) - Where I Risked It All and Lost Count of How Many Times I Died (After 65 Hours of Rainy Regrets)

Risk of Rain, the game where I thought I could conquer endless waves of alien baddies but quickly realized that I'd risked my sanity and any hope of a social life (after 65 hours of pixelated pandemonium).

Pros:

- I've unlocked the art of multitasking. Managing a horde of enemies while searching for loot, dodging projectiles, and calculating risk factors is like playing an adrenaline-fueled game of space chess.
- The game's pixel art takes you on a nostalgic trip back to the arcade days. It's as if someone dropped a ton of quarters into a cosmic arcade cabinet, cranked up the chaos, and said, "Good luck!"
- I've learned that teamwork makes the dream work. Co-op gameplay involves occasional unintentional sabotage, but it's all part of the intergalactic fun.

Cons:

- My friends have reconsidered their life choices after joining my Risk of Rain adventures. In-game, I've witnessed them plummet into pits, perish from poison, and get squished by colossal bosses.
- I've developed a phobia of falling. Risk of Rain's unpredictable terrain can have you plummeting into the abyss or getting sandwiched between platforms and enemies.
- The game's chat is a mix of frantic coordination and "Oh no, not this boss again" banter. Trying to strategize while avoiding laser beams and meteor showers is a unique challenge.

Risk of Rain is a game that challenges your ability to adapt, multitask, and survive against overwhelming odds. It's the kind of game where you'll start with dreams of conquering the alien hordes and end up laughing at the absurdity of your perilous predicament.

To those contemplating a rainy adventure: Embrace the chaos, accept that death is a way of life, and remember that in Risk of Rain, it's not about surviving forever; it's about the epic battles and hilarious mishaps along the way.

In conclusion, Risk of Rain is where I've learned that when life gives you alien foes, endless rain, and a ton of loot, you risk it all, you rain supreme, and you laugh through the deluge of danger.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted October 25, 2023. Last edited October 25, 2023.
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15 people found this review helpful
8 people found this review funny
73.8 hrs on record
Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition - Where I Tried to Be a Hero, but I'm Basically an Accidental Villain (After 80 Hours of Magical Mayhem)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition, the game where I aimed to be a valiant hero and ended up setting half the town on fire, whether they liked it or not (after 80 hours of spell-casting chaos).

Pros:

- I've unlocked the true potential of elemental spells. From igniting villagers' houses to freezing my allies into Popsicle statues, I've learned that magic is a fickle, unpredictable friend.
- The game's world is like a fantastical playground. I've explored lush forests, eerie dungeons, and bustling towns, all while accidentally ruining people's lives with my "help."
- I've realized that the path to heroism is paved with a healthy dose of friendly fire and comically terrible decisions. My heroes are basically the town's sitcom protagonists.

Cons:

- My party members have had enough of my magical shenanigans. I've turned them into chickens, thrown them off cliffs, and electrocuted them more times than they can count.
- I've developed an irrational fear of barrels. In this game, they're not just containers; they're volatile explosives waiting for a stray spell to ignite them.
- The game's humor is like a witty friend who occasionally reminds you of your terrible life choices. It's both entertaining and mocking, like a laugh track to my epic fails.

Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition is a game that encourages heroism but doesn't mind if you set things on fire along the way. It's the kind of game where you'll start with dreams of noble quests and end up laughing at the unintended consequences of your magical mishaps.

To those considering a magical adventure: Embrace the chaos, make peace with your party members' frustration, and remember that in Divinity, it's not about being the perfect hero; it's about the wonderfully disastrous journey.

In conclusion, Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition is where I've learned that when life gives you magic, quests, and barrels, you cast, you explore, and you laugh at the spellbinding madness.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted October 10, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
85.9 hrs on record
Total War: SHOGUN 2 - Where I Thought I'd Be a Master Strategist, But I'm Just an Expert at Making Really Angry Samurai (After 90 Hours of Bushido Blunders)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Total War: SHOGUN 2, the game where I set out to conquer feudal Japan with epic battles and cunning strategy, but ended up realizing I'm better at making samurai irrationally furious (after 90 hours of katana-clashing chaos).

Pros:

- I've mastered the art of bait and switch. Drawing the enemy into a forest ambush or luring them onto a bridge only to set it on fire feels like a mischievous game of tactics.
- The game's historical setting is like a deep dive into the world of samurai and shoguns. It's as if I've been transported back to ancient Japan, and I've probably watched enough Akira Kurosawa films to earn an honorary black belt.
- I've learned that diplomacy is for the weak. Who needs alliances when you can just build an army of ronin and declare war on everyone? I've made so many enemies; it's like a dating app gone horribly wrong.

Cons:

- My samurai deserve an award for most creatively frustrated death cries. Charging headfirst into enemy lines or getting skewered by a lone archer seems to be their favorite pastime.
- I've developed a fear of monks with flaming staffs. They're like one-man infernos, and they've torched my best warriors more times than I care to admit.
- The game's politics are like a soap opera on the battlefield. Betrayals, marriages, and epic feuds are as common as cherry blossoms in spring.

Total War: SHOGUN 2 is a game that invites you to become a master tactician but lets you revel in the chaos of samurai warfare. It's the kind of game where you'll start with dreams of forging an empire and end up laughing at the relentless misadventures of your clan.

To those contemplating a journey to feudal Japan: Embrace the strategy, accept that your samurai will make you facepalm, and remember that in Total War: SHOGUN 2, it's not about the perfect campaign; it's about the epic stories that unfold on the battlefield.

In conclusion, Total War: SHOGUN 2 is where I've realized that when life gives you samurai, castles, and betrayals, you lead, you clash, and you laugh at the chaos of feudal Japan.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted October 10, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
86.1 hrs on record
Realm of the Mad God - Where I Died So Many Times That Death Started Sending Me Birthday Cards (After 90 Hours of Bullet Hell Madness)

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Realm of the Mad God, the game where I thought I was a bullet-dodging wizard but soon realized I was a bullet magnet with a collection of tombstones (after 90 hours of pixelated chaos).

Pros:

- I've achieved a zen-like state of calm amidst chaos. Dodging hundreds of bullets while battling bizarre bosses has turned me into a pixelated bullet whisperer.
- The game's pixel art is like a nostalgic trip back to the arcade days. It's as if Space Invaders met a fantasy RPG and decided to throw a non-stop party.
- I've learned that death is just a temporary setback. Respawn, grab your trusty wizard robe, and charge back into the bullet hell with reckless abandon.

Cons:

- My dreams are filled with bullet patterns. I've seen more swirling projectiles than a fireworks show on New Year's Eve. It's both beautiful and traumatizing.
- I've developed a phobia of treasure chests. In this game, opening one is like playing Russian roulette; you never know if you'll find riches or a bullet barrage to the face.
- The game's chat is a mix of helpful advice and bizarre banter. Trying to coordinate with teammates while someone discusses the merits of pineapple on pizza is a unique challenge.

Realm of the Mad God is a game that turns bullet dodging into an art form and rewards your persistence with a sense of accomplishment that's both frustrating and addictive. It's the kind of game where you'll start as a newbie and end up laughing at the insanity of bullet hell battles.

To those considering a pixelated adventure: Embrace the chaos, accept that death is part of the journey, and remember that in Realm of the Mad God, it's not about the loot; it's about the thrill of dodging bullets like a wizard on a caffeine high.

In conclusion, Realm of the Mad God is where I've learned that when life gives you pixelated bullets, tombstones, and pizza debates, you dodge, you die, and you dodge some more.

Overall rating: ★★★☆☆
Posted October 4, 2023. Last edited October 10, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
126.3 hrs on record
Primal Carnage: Extinction - Where I Learned That Being a Dino Can Be More Fun Than Jurassic Park (After 130 Hours of Mayhem)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Primal Carnage: Extinction, the game where I started as a human thinking, "I'll survive this dino onslaught," but then I realized that being a rampaging dinosaur is where the real fun begins (after 130 hours of prehistoric chaos).

Pros:

- I've become a master of dinosaur impersonations. Roaring, hissing, and chomping as a dino is immensely satisfying, especially when you see humans scatter like startled chickens.
- The game's maps are like prehistoric playgrounds. Exploring lush jungles, dark caves, and sandy beaches while hunting or being hunted is a Jurassic adventure like no other.
- I've learned that being a tiny compy can be as terrifying as being a T-Rex. There's nothing quite like swarming a human and watching them panic as they get nibbled to death.

Cons:

- My trust issues have skyrocketed. In this game, even your closest friend will gleefully betray you by transforming into a bloodthirsty raptor and tearing you to shreds.
- I've developed a "Phobia of Porta-Potties." They're not safe havens; they're dino death traps. It's like playing Russian roulette with toilets.
- The game's chat can be hilariously chaotic. Picture a Velociraptor trying to type on a keyboard with its tiny arms while being chased by a shotgun-wielding human. You get the idea.

Primal Carnage: Extinction is a game that lets you unleash your inner dinosaur and wreak havoc on unsuspecting humans or work together to survive the dino onslaught. It's the kind of game where you'll start as a cautious human and end up laughing maniacally as you stomp, bite, and claw your way to victory as a dino.

To those considering a dino-filled adventure: Embrace the chaos, expect the unexpected, and remember that in Primal Carnage, it's not about survival; it's about the sheer joy of primal mayhem.

In conclusion, Primal Carnage: Extinction is where I've learned that when life gives you dinosaurs, humans, and porta-potties, you choose the dino and let the chaos begin.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Posted October 4, 2023. Last edited October 10, 2023.
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Showing 1-10 of 36 entries