Recent reviews by SmegmaCannoli

Starfield is GoTY

I played this game when it first came out and completely forgot about it until the recent case involving gabbi vermicelli. This game was not very good, but it had a great premise and base idea that is now apparent in the public eye. People go missing in national parks and often without a trace. The only reason that Americans care now is because a pretty white Instagram model went missing. There are so many facets to this case that i don't know if i'll be able to cover all of the people that i would like to blame, but i will do my best.

The first on the list are the fat people who are too lazy to actually outside and live their lives in a way that could be conceived as productive so they will watch youtubers and Vloggers instead of doing things themselves. This sloth-like nature is a huge contributor into the decay of society and has lead to the rise of E-celebrities, E-sports, Instagram, tik-tok, and other forms of toxic behavior on the internet. If we did not enable giana pasquale to start a lifestyle of living a van then this wouldn't have happened. I would much rather have seen her get a job working for the department of water and sewage in whatever suburb of New York her family is probably from before they moved to Florida.

Next point, why are people going to these parks in the first place? If we are so worked up about injustice in this country, why don't we give the land and the land rights back to the native people of this country that allegedly had everything stolen from this. I know this may sound insincere, but i'm being very genuine. The natural beauty of this nation means only so much to me, and the people that claim to go into nature to find themselves can do the same thing with the help of chemical intervention. If Britney Spears can be forced to take lithium, i'd say that we should make it a point to give lithium to people who plan vacation to national parks. We could give the land back to the native peoples and let them do whatever they want. Natural Resources, tourism, cheap housing, industrial agriculture, i really don't care. But we really can't claim to want to help these people if we're not willing to give something up.

There is a very big problem with people disappearing and going missing in national parks and there is a book called "The Cold Vanish by Jon Billman that i'd recommend if you actually have enough thoughts to read a book. If not, just continue playing whatever free to play garbage that is being shilled to you this month. If you willingly go into a large swath of uninhabited territory by yourself, or with someone who your relationship is a little less than absolutely rock solid with, there shouldn't be a surprise if you wind up dead somewhere or just completely vanish. There is already a huge problem in this country with sex trafficking and were supposed to be the most civilized nation in the world. But it's hard to grasp just how bad it is because people disappearing is often never talked about because of who it happens to and where it happens. People can be kidnapped anywhere from hotels/airbnbs, sporting events, plane/train stations, anywhere and there often thousands of people there. I think that people should not be allowed to enter these spaces without proper equipment or at all to be honest. A lot of blame is given to mountain lions and bears but they are not the only culprits. If a psychopath wanted to do something to someone, a national park alone in the wilderness is probably the place, and genine pucci went out there with one evidently. I won't dig too much into the government and how they could also partake in kidnapping people out there without a trace, but i can't imagine anyone involved with the government ever doing something like that.

The game: It's boring and another one of those art pieces like all of Sony's recent crap. Xbox tried a few of these things like that game Quantum Break, but it was so bad they just decide not to insult people anymore. There isn't a ton in game play, solve an easy puzzle, read a post it note, find out the villain isn't Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislane Maxwell this time, and walk around in a rather poor graphical display.

So much more can be said on this topic, but you people don't care at all. You're just happy playing video games that offer some stimulation instead of bettering yourself. This girls disappearance is a tragedy and you have no one to blame but yourselves because the government would rather give the IRS an additional 78 billion to spy on working and middle class Americans than pay for basic american rights like healthcare and a decent public education. But hey, Battlefield 2042 is coming out soon and isn't more video stimulation all that really matters?

This is a really great Sonic game. Best in the series since blah blah blah. Last week we got classic chicken sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A and combined them with the beef and cheddar from Arby's. It was a fresh take on something that had been seen as old fashioned. While not a fan of either one of these establishments, when someone from Florida tells me to do something., i will normally do it. Only a Florida demon could come up with something so repugnant. That being said, it was actually really good and would say that when people choose to go outside of the box and try something that they aren't sure about, it might lead to greatness. Like Sega deciding to do something smart with sonic for once., the Chick-Fil-Arby's is part of the creator's great plan for all of us. Give it a shot, listen to people from Florida, and if you do play video games and eat like that, don't bother exercising, it's a waste of your time.

The year is 2007 and the beginning of the final step of societal degradation has just begun. The iPhone is now available to the public so mobile internet sites are starting to become a mainstream idea. People who would normally never browse the internet are on their constantly because of Facebook and the wild west days of the internet are coming to a close. The days of being able to say whatever you wanted to random people on the internet with little to no repercussions are now behind us and this has led to the great demise. The release of portal and "the cake is a like" me-mes are ruining the culture that has been built for the gaming community. It wasn't all bad though, Wendy's had released the baconator which was revolutionary for it's time. but the issue is that American's love excess. Something like an iPhone, video games, Facebook, or 6 strips of bacon on a burger should be a limited use item and not an every day occurrence. The North Koreans were going off and something about the Chinese, i don't know. This game was great because you could throw bricks at people, there was a level somewhere in Japan and some guy thinks you're a ninja which is kind of funny. There probably won't ever be another splinter cell game because there is no custom skins, micro-transactions, cringey memes, or lack-luster mmo components. Get a controller mod and relive the highest rated game on the OG Xbox.

This game is the epitome of class warfare and the struggle between Hollywood elites and the working man. When i was a lad, my mother purchased the N64 with this game bundled in. For the first time, I knew what it was like to have a current gaming console and it wasn't that impressive. The N64 is objectively a pile of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ when compared to the PlayStation and i say that not as a video game player, but as your future congressman. I try to be as unbiased as possible when writing these reviews, but i think it's fair to say that Bill Gates wouldn't have allowed you to get his vaccine if he knew that you thought the N64 was more than the favorite console of that kid who ended up becoming a competitive smash player. All that being said, I love the game. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace is one of the greatest cinematic achievements of the 20th Century. The vision of Lucas brought so much joy to a younger generation of Star Wars fans and left of with some much glorious content for decades to come. Double sided light-sabers, Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Dank MeMes, and of course, Pod Racing. My favorite part was watching the senators gleefully hand their power away to a single frail old man who was secretly the dark lord because they wanted to feel protected from the evils of free trade and democracy. Buy the game, it's cheap, its fun, or don't. I don't really care to be honest, but just remember, free doughnuts with the Covid Vaccine.

We've only scratched the surface of harvesting a planet for all it's natural resources and exploiting the native population for our own personal gain. I believe in Elon Musk and President Harris. If only the earth wasn't flat and they were honest about the lizard people. It would be nice to see the truth about what our world truly is. Sadly, we live in a society doomed to only exist on this plane in this doomed hellscape that we call greater Idaho. 10/10 would recommend to anyone who also enjoys my hero academia, boku no piko and any film with George Clooney.

I enjoyed playing as Girl Cloud. Needs more Covid references.

Command & Conquer may be the greatest game to ever be released and it was only made better by my good friends at electronic arts. They like maderna really know how to look out for the interests of humanity.

I went into Fallout New Vegas beliving that this will be a great gaming experience.

This game deserves a great review.