It started off as great fun. A world full of potential, you along with the millions of people who have joined and left their mark on the game of GTA Online. A city full of dreams and memories to be had, alon with money to be made. The first 200 hours are a pleasure, the beginning beaming with hope and fortune. Yes, you have experienced some of the liabilities of GTA Online but everything passes with time. Eventually your friends will slowly grow tired of the endless grind of GTA, with some of the newer cars in the game costing around 2.5 million dollars, you can see what the money hungry CEO’s of Take-Two Interactive are trying to achieve. Constantly milking GTA Online instead of creating new games, to be fair it’s working, the joys of capitalism. After many hours of playing, you arrive where I stand, a love hate relationship with the world of GTA Online. I want to quit, everything says I should, but when Rockstar brings even the most lackluster update, I come crawling back. Is this what addiction feels like, a gaping hole inside of me, my mind racing at the thought of making virtual money in a video game. What has my life accumulated too? Am I going to be stuck in this loop of hatred for that slight chance I can feel the dopamine rush when I first played the game? I stare at my monitor with disbelief, “Will this cycle ever end? What will happen from here on out?” These questions bounce around in my head, with not an answer in sight. I move my cursor to my games library on steam, just one click away and I can separate myself from the reality that my life has become. The breaking of glass, stars flashing on my screen with the sound of police sirens. I have disappeared to somewhere where I can experience joy, somewhere I can live, somewhere I can rest.