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It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue.
It is an amalgamation
of the meat of several pigs,
emulsified, liquefied, strained,
and ultimately inexorably joined
in an unholy meat obelisk.
God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence.
The fact that this ham monolith exists proves
that God is either impotent to alter His universe
or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom.
This prism of pork is more than deli meat.
It is a physical declaration
of mankind's contempt for the natural order.
It is hubris manifest.
We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.
Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.
To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.
This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
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_____/)___/)______./¯"""/')
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯'\_„„„„\)
To everyone you want to ♥♥♥♥ like an animal