Mellow_Online1
United Kingdom (Great Britain)
 
 
Writer of the SteamWatch series on TechRaptor and Digital Homicides, moderator at Digital Homicides, head of Sentinels of the Store, former head of Guardians of Greenlight and The Goods of Greenlight.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MellowOnline1
Business e-mail: mellowonline1@gmail.com
Currently Offline
Last Online 4 hrs, 22 mins ago
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My Steam groups

Sentinels of the Store - Consumer advocacy group, putting a primary focus on consumer awareness of different games on Steam (also part curator group, however more heavily information driven and focused on background checks of games, rather than the game's quality)

I am also frequently seen around...

Digital Homicides - (Moderator)
Consumer advocacy group and censorship safe-haven.

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mellowonline1@gmail.com
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Sentinels of the Store - Public Group
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Review Showcase
The Worst Game on Steam

This far into Steam opening up it's figurative floodgates, I may have just found the worst game on Steam. Starting off with the continued lack of monitoring of the Steam Greenlight and then developing into the system that is Steam Direct that just allows anyone with $100 to come onto the once professional platform in which it was a great achievement to get your game on Steam when your game got up there with the big boys. But it's now become home to some of the worst game imaginable with cheap, shoddy, asset flip trash wriggling and crawling onto the Steam store on a daily basis. This game solidifies that this will not be changing anytime soon.

The Game

I'm not gonna go into my detailed stuff as I usually do where I talk about the gameplay, the graphics, the music and possibly the story, I'm just going to detail my experience from start to finish, and you can actually see the whole game be played through here, mainly because I feel like even here, a lot of this stuff has to be seen to be believed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnWyBkJxE4Y

So, real quickly, I just want to say that the game launched with literally no files included with it, which was obviously a great f*cking horrible way to start your launch.

I also, want to bring attention to the description real quickly:

Originally posted by Riad Arifin:
This is an episodic game. In this episode, you will be the main character Shadow (Alex Summer) who runs an international criminal empire. You will be attacked by few goons and you have to kill them all before they kill you. This is also a first-person shooter game. You can use the mouse pointer to aim and click the mouse button to shoot. The most interesting feature of this game is that if you shoot the goons and they don't die, you have to shoot at the places surrounding the attackers to kill them.

The fact that they want to turn the game into an episodic series is laughable when they have shown a lack of game development skills in this first episode. I'm going to be coming back to the description though a few times, as it's a good reference point to go with alongside the game's "story."

So, you open the game and you're met with this screen:

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1324569127

As you can see, the text is as small as the chances are of this game getting an overall positive Steam review score organically. It sets the scene describing how your "bodygourds" leave you to kill some goons. The game then drops you into this scenario as soon as you click "Enter"

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1324569410

The scenario is this, you're put into this zone where you can't move your character around and you're surrounded by 6 guys (it should be 7, but one of them instantly dies as soon as you load in, he probably didn't want to be in the game.) The developers couldn't model your character holding their gun right, so instead, the hands sort of cross over each other while the gun hovers in the space between them. By the way, just bringing attention back to that screenshot I linked when I'm actually in the game, I want to say, I had the game on "ultra" graphical quality, and it looks like that. I also want to quickly bring your attention back to a specific part of the description:

Originally posted by Riad Arifin:
The most interesting feature of this game is that if you shoot the goons and they don't die, you have to shoot at the places surrounding the attackers to kill them.

This is basically the developer's excuse for not being able to create efficient hitboxes. "Can't hit em when you're aiming directly, well just fire some shots in their general direction and you might hit them....maybe?" This feature is not interesting, interesting is what I call Fez's concept of being in a 2.5D environment solving puzzles on islands, not sometimes and probably not hitting enemies when I shoot them. Also, there are no crosshairs in the game or any ADS (Aiming Down the Sights for those unfamiliar with shooters), so you can't even attempt to be accurate in any way, shape or form. Every time you enter this zone, the only thing you can do is spray bullets in each of the enemy's general directions, but what makes things worse is the weird mouse sensitivity that they've got. The left-right movements are too high, but the up-down movements are too slow, and you can't adjust these, you're stuck with these for the entirety of this game's short, miserable timespan.

After you get lucky enough to kill all of them, or the game bugs out and decides at one point to kill them all for you (which is shown in the video) it then jumps you to a cutscene consisting of 4 models sitting at a desk going through a slideshow, but you could probably be forgiven for thinking the models sitting at a desk was the slideshow, because they have an equal amount of movement and livelihood about them.

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1324569958

And no, the image they use for one of their slides in my screenshot was not done by me, that is in the game. So basically it's a bunch of FBI people suddenly throwing in a story for you, which is basically the stuff in the description, alongside a voice actor who breathes too much into his mic. Then after that, the game ends. In the video, I completed the game in 3 minutes 58 secs in the first run and 3 mins and 12 secs in the second run, both of which probably could have been shorter if I didn't die so many times in the shooter sequence.

All of this put together, probably makes this the worst game I have ever played on Steam. So yeah, do not buy this. I think the game's own title sums the experience up well:

Cannot be tolerated.

My Steam Curator group

Recent Activity

4.6 hrs on record
last played on Aug 14
3.1 hrs on record
last played on Aug 11
2.1 hrs on record
last played on Jul 27
[ λlt ] Jul 22 @ 8:23am 
please, guardian. read here, and after that delete this comment. thanks
https://steamcommunity.com/id/marcoscafati/recommended/377980?snr=1_5_9__402

how to report this thing directly to valve?
[ReAp]Evamore🦇 Jul 17 @ 1:59pm 
Happy Birthday Mellow! 🎂
Thank you for being such a great person and always looking out for others 💕
Vervaticus Jul 17 @ 12:29pm 
wow hey happy birthday my man, I hope you have a great day ! :present_emo:
Mellow_Online1 Jul 17 @ 12:27pm 
@Vervaticus It is!
Vervaticus Jul 17 @ 12:23pm 
is it your birthday or why all the happy balloons :D
2dengine Jul 8 @ 10:26am 
Cheers! Z5FPX-437FI-C49EQ