Ele the fairy?

WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥

i have a ♥♥♥♥ up my ass so hard i cant ♥♥♥♥ its like a door on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ its blocking the rest of the ♥♥♥♥ from coming out its horrible

Childhood friend of mine had me over his house, we were about 13 or 14 at the time, (we're 28 now) he was super lazy and only ever played xbox, never wanted to play split screen games and hardly ever let me play, so after being there overnight serving him hand over foot every time he asked, getting him drinks and ♥♥♥♥, I got fed up and when he asked for water, I brought the cup in the bathroom, filled it with tap water, and dropped my drawers and wafted my nutsack through the water like it was a teabag for maybe 10 seconds, then I brought it to him with a huge smile on my face and he chugged it, all without saying a word. Obviously never told him, but I do feel really bad about it now, and kinda just wanted to tell someone, whether they find it funny or whatever, idrc

When I was about 13, I loved angry birds, I had every game all the way to angry Birds seasons and HD and I had every toy and merchandise they had at the store, I was playing angry birds and then all of a sudden Terence showed up and turned me on. I COULDN’T STAND IT, I WAS GOING CRAZY. I DECIDED TO PUL OUT MY BIG PICKLE AND START STRANGLING IT, I had never felt so good, I soon continued to do this daliy and never got bored of it, I soon decided to hump my Terence plush and strangle my pickle to my computer, merchandise and phone, I’m glad to still admit I still do this today and I’m never embarrassed and giving up

Hello am 48 year old man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england. I selled my wife for internet connection for play “conter stirk” and i want to become the goodest player like you I play with 400 ping on brazil server and I am Global Elite 2. pls no copy pasterino my story