Steal a man's wallet and they will be broke for a day. Teach a man how to play the drums and they will be broke for the rest of their life."
-Someone's dad

The problems with ladders these days is how they're manufactured. Ya see, back in '71 the ladder business had a complete paradigm shift when the Asian markets began to take over their business. The Asian model ladders had a more narrow step, spaced at longer intervals. This made a climbing rate increase of 12% over American made ladders, which were still using the older Imperial system and stuck with the wider sturdy models like they had made for 100 years. Now 12% may not sound like much to you regular folks, but with the sleeker designs from the east, a contractor could afford to improve their building output by 2% a year just in climbing up improvements. Like the Germans, the Japanese also implemented a Ranjier method for the angle and rotation of the individual steps. This was a technique learned by the Nazis during their arctic expeditions in '44 (they were looking for the gold of Atlantis, like everyone else in during that time).

I am not a doctor, but I do have experience in having several limbs removed and reattached with various means of communication, including, but not limited to, yelling, shotguns, tweezers, baseball bats, formal essays, and both a verbal and physical foot in the ass.

According to my calculations, you have a calculator in your anus. You should probably see a doctor.

2

How many times have you come home from the grocery store?