Recent reviews by Pastey

Its a fun map game. Take it easy. Take it super hard. It's fun either way. Shout out Gilgamesh.

I do not like this very much


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certified ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Starfield had me at 'hello', with its promise of a galaxy brimming with a thousand planets. At first, it's like being in a space theme park, but after the 20th planet, it starts feeling more like visiting the same ride with different lighting.

The character customization is where Starfield puts on its Sunday best. I crafted my space avatar with more detail than my last three tax returns combined. Bethesda has really stepped up their game here – it's no longer just about picking the least weird-looking nose.

Combat starts off with all the excitement of a snail race but picks up pace faster than a caffeine-powered rocket. Mid-game, with my arsenal of upgraded weapons, I felt like an unstoppable space cowboy, minus the horse and the hat.

Ship customization is the real star of the show. It's like having a spaceship-shaped canvas where you can unleash your inner Picasso. Every tweak and adjustment made my ship feel like a true extension of my spacefaring alter ego.

While the questlines have the depth of a kiddie pool at times, they do have their moments. It's like expecting a gourmet meal and getting a decent fast-food burger instead – it's satisfying, but you know it could've been more.

In conclusion, Starfield is a solid 7/10 space adventure – it's like that one movie you like but can't remember the name of. It's got its highs and lows, but I'm betting on the mod community to turn this into a 9/10 epic. After all, a little mod magic goes a long way.

Rating: 10/10

Explanation:

Crab Champions is a game that takes the best parts of a roguelike and a third-person shooter and combines them into one incredibly fun and addictive experience. You play as a crab, and your goal is to become the champion of a series of islands by defeating enemies, collecting power-ups, and upgrading your weapons.

The game is incredibly fast-paced and action-packed, and the controls are tight and responsive. The graphics are also great, with a vibrant and colorful art style that really makes the game stand out.

But what really makes Crab Champions special is its sense of humor. The game is full of hilarious moments, from the way the crabs walk and talk to the ridiculous weapons and power-ups you can find. If you're looking for a game that will make you laugh while also challenging you, then Crab Champions is definitely worth checking out.

Tips for good weapon and perk combos:

The shotgun is a great all-around weapon, but it can be a bit slow to reload. Pair it with the reload speed perk to keep your enemies at bay.
The sniper rifle is great for taking out enemies from a distance, but it's not very effective in close quarters. Pair it with the movement speed perk to get in and out of danger quickly.
The rocket launcher is a powerful weapon, but it's also very inaccurate. Pair it with the homing perk to make sure your shots always hit their target.
The grenade launcher is a great crowd control weapon, but it can also be dangerous to yourself. Pair it with the blast radius perk to maximize its effectiveness.
The healing perk is a must-have for any build. It will keep you alive and fighting even when you're low on health.
The shield perk is a great way to protect yourself from enemy fire. It can also be used to block projectiles and push enemies away.
The speed boost perk is a great way to get around the map quickly. It can also be used to escape from danger or chase down enemies.

Clicker Heroes: The Game That Will Make You Click So Much You'll Need a New Mouse

Rating: 10/10

Explanation:

Clicker Heroes is a game that will have you clicking so much, you'll need a new mouse. In fact, you might even need a new computer, because this game is so addictive.

The basic premise of Clicker Heroes is simple: click on monsters to kill them, and earn gold. Use that gold to buy upgrades for your heroes, which will make them stronger and allow you to kill more monsters. Rinse and repeat.

But that's where the simplicity ends. Clicker Heroes is a game of strategy and optimization. You'll need to carefully consider which heroes to upgrade, and when to ascend to the next level. And if you want to reach the highest levels, you'll need to be willing to put in the time and effort.

But even if you don't care about reaching the highest levels, Clicker Heroes is still a lot of fun. It's a great game to play when you're bored, or when you just need a quick break. And it's even better if you have a friend to play with.

So if you're looking for a game that will make you click so much you'll need a new mouse, then Clicker Heroes is the game for you.

Chivalry 2: A Medieval Battleground for the Absurd

Chivalry 2 is a medieval combat game that lets you live out your wildest fantasies of being a knight. You can swing swords, axes, and spears, and even use your fists to fight your enemies. But what makes Chivalry 2 really special is the absurd things you can do in the game.

For example, you can throw chickens at your enemies, or you can pick up a severed head and use it as a weapon. You can even mount a horse and charge into battle, or you can build a catapult and launch yourself into the air.

The possibilities are endless, and that's what makes Chivalry 2 so much fun. It's a game where you can let loose and have some ridiculous fun.

Rating: 9/10

Chivalry 2 is a great game for anyone who loves medieval combat and absurd humor. It's a lot of fun, and it's sure to provide hours of entertainment.

After 96 hours in this game across three years I have finally beaten this game. This is the most challenging Fromsoft game i've played to date. I honestly despised this game up until 80 hours in, then something clicked during my 200th attempt at the final boss. Each fight is like an intense dance that forces you to learn its steps by ruthlessly punishing you when you misstep. There's a time and place for every tool and technique that this game gives you. It's an amazing ride and a hell of a challenge but it's incredibly rewarding. This is the most fun I never want to have again. 9/10

This game really makes you feel like Spider-Man. It's like Skyrim with Spider-Man

If you own a PC but don't own GMod, you own a console.

Hit lots of enemies, reconnect with your dad, romance the milf.