If you're an ugly manlet, you shouldn't try to become a midget bodybuilder gymcel, that's a rookie mistake. Instead, embrace the Dwarfpill. Maximize your fat, muscle and hairiness attributes. Eat, drink and train like an alcoholic strongman, ingest minoxodil, and never cut or trim your scalp/facial/body hair. Even if you're balding, just grow out a skullet. Let your noise hair merge with your mustache. Allow your bushy eyebrows to combine into one unit. Watch as the cheek-line of your beard grows up to your eyeballs, and your neckline connects to your chest hair. You should look like you have tarantulas under your armpits and a rug on your back. Become a pugnacious wrecking-ball of a man, solid as an oak stump. Proudly stink of pipe tobacco, ale, sweat, dirt and musk. Acquire a Glaswegian accent. Go spelunking and collect rocks, minerals and precious, *or semiprecious* gemstones. Grab an axe, chop down some trees, and build your workshop. Forge your own tools and craft your own jewelry. Get into armored combat sports and MMA. Become skilled with the war hammer and the battle axe. Unlock the Powerbelly. Feast, fight, live in a cave, and be happy.