Recent reviews by Ignite

This game has way more to offer than you think.

Backfirewall_ is a very basic game with a simple premise: Trigger some elements in the map, move forward, go to the next puzzle.
The first 30 minutes of gameplay can feel repetitive, but if you push through the repetition and advance the plot, you end up with one of the most refreshing stories I've come across in years.

It's not necessarily a game for everyone, but if you enjoy games like Portal and don't mind exploring maps and going off course, you will definitely not regret spending your money on this game.

This game made me feel like Hitler

DiRT Showdown is a new approach to the DiRT series. It takes out all the realism of previous games (Traction control, wheel lock, etc) and focuses exclusive on one thing: Carnage.

Every car has 3 main stats. Speed, Resistance and Maneauverability. These 3 guys will play major roles depending on what kind of competition you're doing. From a classic 8-ball collisseum to a face to face gymkhana against Ken Block. You're only goal is to crash your enemies, and be the fastest one at the end!

Again, if you're looking for an extremely realist game, youre in this wrong place.
If you want to crash cars, and race without having to worry about extremely complex controls, this game is for you.

They screwed rock paper scissors. HOW DO YOU SCREW ROCK PAPER SCISSORS?!

At least the uninstall button works like charm.

>Enemy goes to hell after a battle
>Says sorry and keeps wandering the world if nothing happened

>NPCs would kill a pregnant woman for a room

These are just some of the THOUSANDS of mistakes in this game.
I played this game, knowing it would be a bad trip. But what I got in the end is one of the most HORRIFIC games I've ever witnessed.

Music: It has like 4 songs only that loop constantly. The music is horribly composed, the chiptune instruments used to make the score are just high-pitched tones.

Story: I've only managed to play Baby Jesus Christ RPG, but the story goes like this. Angel with a horribly modeled face comes and gets Mary pregnant in 1 frame. But like 9-month old pregnant. Then Joseph is INVITED to a census in Bethleem, but, if he does not assist, he'll be killed along with everyone else in his family, because he'll be concidered a tax avoider with an offshore account in the Cayman islands. Which totally makes sense, amrite?

So you go to Bethleem, fight guys who would kill a PREGNANT lady for a room.
Then you meet the 3 elves that are supposed to be kings and then I died. Wouldn't even bother to restart the game.

If you've ever wondered how playing poker with a dog feels like, along with a wacky robot, a murderous psychopath and a TV star/bodyguard with girls naming their dildos after him, this is your game.

You might need some previous experience with poker, because the bots don't go easy on you. When I first bought this game, I was being wooped. Because I had no clue of what I was doing. At all.

The graphics are a delight. Music, exquisite. Fun, all the time.

And, a personal tip. Don't drink if you're gonna play this.

This game is...

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Edgy.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

But honestly, this is an awesome game. It's really immersive, it's pretty smooth, the graphics are delicious, it has a great story, the OST is awesome.. And F*CKING PARKOUR!

I know what you're thinking, most likely. I know this is one of, if not, the most successful indie franchise of all time, and you're probably saying "Erghmahgawd, another hater! Bad review!". But I got solid reasons to hate it.

First of all, I want to clear up that FNAF 1 isn't a bad game.

I must recognice it was a pretty good game, and pretty original too. But, my reason to hate FNaF, doesn't come from the game. But rather the whole series.

Why?

Because in less than one year, Scott Cawthon released (at least) 4 GAMES, without actually improving the gameplay, and overexploiting it. What do I mean? That this is just a mold of every single FNaF game ever released. Yeah, FNaF 2 had no doors. FNaF 3 had traps for the only actual enemy, but, do you see a gameplay alteration? Do you see an actual improvement between FNaF 1 and 4? No, you don't. You see Scott basically altering the MECHANICS of the game, but NOT improving the game. He said FNaF 3 would be the last game of the triology franchise. But, a month after that, we see FNaF 4 up on the steam store! Why? Because his fanbase is not only mostly consisted of kids that aren't used to the point 'n click genre, but because he knows that if he just adds the word "Freddy" on one of his games, the sales of it will rise up, mostly because people will think they're going to play something new. And it could easily be a simulator of Freddy taking a dump over a computer. But, where's the FNaF on it? On the Freddy sprite.

As nonsensical as it sounds, it's right. FNaF 3 is basically a game that could EASILY be deleted of the franchise, and yet NO timeline-related issues would occur! Because the lore itself isn't even present in the game. Whenever you're buying FNaF 2, 3 or 4, you're just buying this game I'm reviewing right now, only that it has altered game mechanics.

"B-But, it's a whole new game! It has minigames!" you may say. Yes. It does have minigames. But does it alter the story of 5 murderous robots that are trying to kill you? Nope. It's an add in. A filler. A way to fill the game, so it feels new.

Scott is just taking the same game over and over again, editing it a little bit, altering the way the characters look and behave, and replacing the game system over and over again. First it's a tablet and 2 doors. Then it's a light, a mask, and a tablet. Then a reset system button, with the ghosts of the past characters. And now? Yet another new concept. Don't get yourself fooled. If you're playing the game for the story, it would be better to watch a gameplay rather than spending your money on a carbon copy of a past game. Simple as that. Scott is taking your money, and he's releasing games faster and faster, because each time he says "Five nights at freddy's", lots of little kids that haven't ever played a point 'n click get their wallets ready to buy the exact same game again, only that with a different mechanic. Just like Toy Story 2 and 3.

Both blockbuster movies. Both go the same way. Both end the same way.

1. It starts with a large scale action sequence, that is later revealed to be an exageration of a game being played by other characters.
   
2. It introduces ideas and pictues reflecting change and ultimately the idea that toys don't last forever.
   
3. Unwanted toys are then gathered, and a mistake is made where one or more of the main characters ends up where the unwanted toys are supposed to be.
   
4. Toys get placed in a new enviroment, meeting new characters, where one of them is a plumpy and seemingly kind toy with a deep voice and a cane. This toy is later revealed to be the antagonist, filled by the traumatization of feeling unloved and unwanted, taking their anger on other characters.
   
5. This toy promises the main characters that where they landed on is paradise, and they will be loved for generations and taken care of.
   
6. A factory resetted Buzz Lightyear locks up one or more of the protagonists,
   
7. An overexposed flashback sequence happens where they show the antagonist and toys new to the series being left out on the countryside by their previous owners.
   
8. The protagonists end up on a large scale industrial contraption where the antagonist is disposed of in the process.
   
9. The antagonist is then ultimately left to an owner with no care for their well being whatsoever.

And it still made TONS of cash.
Same with FNaF.

PLEASE, notice this is a pretty amateur game! So you can't really expect a god-like quality out of this!

Well, I've played THROUGH the game 3 times. One on jiggly mode, one on normal mode, and one on a speedrun for an achievement run. And, honestly? I'm REALLY surprised by this game. Not only it made me laugh and giggle, but, it also was quite appeticing to watch. Yeah, I know it doesn't have the best graphics around, I know it may be kinda cheesy and goofy.. But, honestly? I LOVE this game. This is one of the FEW games I can look at, and say "I loved it". It has a really nice use of FX, it has some pretty nice music, the plot is dumb, but at the same time is pretty funny.. As an indie game fanatic, I REALLY suggest you to try this game. There's nothing to lose :P

It manages to connect both the anime and MLP fandom in a fun way! I'm not a fan of neither of those visual styles (Nor the animations), but, I had a great time playing through the "dating" sim that ended on you having some... Interconnections with a firewall, and galloping as 3 ponies through the clone of 3 shields. I loved controlling stick's heartbeat (Even if it was a pain in the butt), and I actually got ADDICTED to the "Just press Up!" game.

Daniel, if you're reading this comment, I am FULLY supporting you on each one of your future games! Heck, I'd f*cking love to compose a song for your next installment!

9.7/10

A must-play.

OH! One little easter egg. If you press T and say something.. You can use a TTS engine!
You can imput any commands from moonbase alpha, and they work just fine! Even the songs c:

First of all. I got this game for free. And it's HORRIBLE. First, the menu is an abomination. Second, it's a mess of default unity assets mixed up with one of the worst AI I've ever seen. It's a total nonsense. The song is a free rap song I heard a while ago, that loops over, and over, and over. It gets annoying after the third loop. The blood splatters are EXACTLY the same blood sprites I found on google some months ago, and I used them for a photoshop job I had to do for my school. You can walk THROUGH windows (Non-destroyed windows. With the glass and everything), the ammount of glitches is amazing (I saw a plane flying sideways while dropping some crap), and the worst of all: It's a generic damn shooter. You can clearly see that the developer placed NO effort onto this game. The netcode is horrible. The zombies, if you can call them that way, are damn weak. ANY weapon kills them in one hit. Aside, what the hell? There's like a nazi general zombie, a mime-like zombie, and other sprites that look a lot like the sprites you can download for free to add on any game. I dare to say even a 10-12 year old kid can make a better game than this, in just a few hours.

This game, is one of the few games I really hate. This, is from my point of view, even worse than bad rats. I mean, bad rats is WAY more enjoyable than this game, with it's cheap 60's porno music and bad physics.

Even if I got this for free, I demand a refund. Oh, and strangely, almost every positive review come from accounts that have just one review, and luckily, one game.

This game is a mess. 0/10

EDIT: This review is disliked by 1 person only. I'm sure it's the dev.