What if I'm already ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go ♥♥♥♥ myself". I may be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself already. I may as well not be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself already. Until my ♥♥♥♥ and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my ♥♥♥♥ enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless.

♫ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Gay porn ───────────⚪──────────────────────────────────
◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀　　⠀ ₁:₃₂ / ₃:₃₂　　　　🔇 ───○ 🔊⠀　　　ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐

I'm the head of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ state, ♥♥♥♥♥
I brought you change, ♥♥♥♥♥
What the ♥♥♥♥ you thinking, ♥♥♥♥♥
I won't die, I'm the ♥♥♥♥, that's what Michelle say
Secret Service but I got my own SK
See Hillary, that's my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥
I hang in DC with them Senate, House killers
Baracka Flocka Flame one hood-ass ♥♥♥♥♥
In the six-four bending corners, my ♥♥♥♥♥
[Verse 1]
Got a main ♥♥♥♥♥, got a mistress
A couple daughters, I'm so hood rich
My staff go hard, we be smoking
I pass bills, free shorty, no joking
And what I stand for, change, ♥♥♥♥♥
I'mma die for this country, man, I swear to god
In the trap with some killers and some hood ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Where you at, where's your trap, you ain't hood, ♥♥♥♥♥
Keep that ♥♥♥♥ 300, put that ♥♥♥♥ on my hood
Crips ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with me, Gs, and the Vice Lords
Eses in the Meeko, freestyle off the dome
President Baracka Flacka Flame is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ home

⧹╲⎝⧹ ⎠╱⧸⎠ YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! ⧹╲⎝⧹ ⎠╱⧸⎠

Hey👋 ladies💁‍♀️ 📷 Would 😍 you 👈 like 👍 to 2️⃣ get 😮 rich 💰💰💰 by running 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ your 👈 own business 👩‍💼💼 from home 🏡 with just ☝ your phone? 📱🤳 Well 🤷‍♀️ you can't. 😂 Get 👏 a 👏 real 👏 job 👏 you 👏 stupid 👏 ♥♥♥♥

hey, Bungeetaco! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft 🌈, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on we'll make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse ♥♥♥♥" like you requested but we'll work on it thank you