yooyo

yoyo

I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ my girlfriend last week. I’m still pissed about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine

𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄, 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐌𝐄, 𝐒𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

God says...

♥♥♥♥ toinfinity_and_beyond ivan dont mention it ha how_far hypocrit heads_1_win_tails_you_lose you_are_my_sunshine sunni why didn_you_tell me tv do_you_get_a_cookie just_between_us ipod whatcha_talkin_bout losethos nope tv tree hugger astounding desert Russia LOL caution dont_you_love_me slumin like_like atheist Catastrophic_Success look_buddy Vegas could_it_be_Satan joy you_dont_like_it downer strip Japan sucks you_are_my_sunshine WooHoo do_you_get_a_cookie desert how could you God_smack heads_I_win_tails_you_lose Its_nice_being God Its_nice_being God refreshing you_dont_say God LOL I gotta_piss ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can_you_hear_me_now ♥♥♥♥♥♥ IM_gonna_smack_someone Im_so_scared ohh_thank you fer_sure hate because_I_said_so Jesus joy quite church

i got rolled by this man and had to look at his profile.
only to find out he's listened to "Sympathy for the Devil"

10/10 music selection, my guy