795th Blitzdiver, serving under the 32nd Scorched Gladius Company
True Tenno Master

Criminal Record:

♥♥♥♥♥♥ up Lordan
Burned down The Lands between
Conquered Tamriel
♥♥♥♥♥♥ [up] all nine circles of hell
Became worlds most incompetent Herald
Kidnapped a girl with the promise of bringing her to Paris
Bout' to nuke Rivelon again......
Sacrificed annoying teenagers and math teachers to the entitus
Defended the kingdom by commiting several warcrimes as a medic
Stole nuclear warheads
Used tentacles to kill 15000+ clones
Explained to filthy lightspammers that spamming wont reattach their head to their neck
Enslaved primitive civilisations as a corporate entity
Spawncamped annoying hackers in pyjamas
Made people pay to not see Armadilos
*checks notes* only one Crime per game, right?
Drank coffee without milk
Choked a scorpion
Ruined the imperial fuel economy
Killed people with a bench while listening to Finnish Rock (Thanks Athi ^^)
Reenacted Pearl Harbor with German Planes
Commited genocide agains ratpeople high on crack
Shoved rouge agents in the "forever box"
Assisted a terrorist cell
Accidentally confused Noble 5 with Master Chief
Gunned down religious fanatics with gun-heels
Killed my coworkers with a piggybank
proved that gravity is, in fact, optional
And dont ask about the Rimworld....