Recent reviews by slanderoid

I'll put up a detailed review soon but, for now, I just came here for the badge. I loved this game. I love it so much, it made me retroactively love Final Fantasy VII. (VI is best, eat me.)

I recently decided that, since I constantly want to replay each individual Final Fantasy game but never seem to think I have time, I’m going to dedicate 2025 to replaying all of the Final Fantasy games in one go. So, this is the first installment of my Final Fantasy retrospective.

I kicked this project off with the most logical game in the series to start with: Final Fantasy XII.

The first (and only) time I’ve played this one was fifteen-ish years ago on the original PS2 hardware. You might think that would make me a prime candidate to compare the Steam/Zodiac Age version with the OG release… but years of obliterating my braincells with mind-altering substances has left me with very few memories of my first playthrough. Seriously, I didn’t remember the second half of the game at all. Basically, this was like playing a brand-new game.

What I do remember from my time with it before was that I liked it. That still holds true after this playthrough. Sure, the story veers into ridiculousness by the end of the game and few of the characters hold a special place in my heart… Nothing has changed about that. But the world of Ivalice is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome, as always. And the Star-Wars-y tone of the story works better than one might expect. Most importantly, however, this game succeeds in what is arguably the most important aspect that any game can hope to succeed in: it’s a lot of fun to play.

Unlike the offline games that bookend this one (X and XIII), exploration is not only possible but encouraged. Instead of being linear like those others, this is as open-world as one could reasonably expect a Final Fantasy game from this generation to be. The maps are huge and they’re full of hidden areas, secret treasures, and elite monsters.

Thankfully, I still loved the battle system in this one. It’s much different than any other Final Fantasy. And even though this one could most easily be compared to the online games in the series, it’s not really like those, either. Autobattle is the focus of this one so, by the time the player opens up all of the options available to them, it’s more akin to an idle or automation game. The player sets the possible actions of the characters with things called “gambits” (essentially, “if-then” statements) and, if the player did it right, the party gets to work whooping everything’s ass without direct input from the player. Of course, if your gambits are poorly planned, the player gets to sit back and watch their party get their ♥♥♥♥ pushed in. This might not sound like a lot of fun when I explain it like that but I super-promise that it is.

The fact that it’s still fun is partly due to the quality-of-life improvements that have been made since the original release. (I guess I do remember some stuff about my first playthrough, after all...) The game now autosaves every time the player crosses over a threshold into a new zone. Plus, thanks to a fast-forward feature, the game now runs in double time, so backtracking isn’t as painful as it once was. (And there is an option in the settings to double that speed so that the game runs at quadruple time. I didn’t play like that because of my slow reaction time but the option is available for more sober players.)

Honestly, it was really cool to look back at this one because, while there have been some improvements made to bring it up to speed with modern games, a lot of the features in the game were there in the original version. The fast travel, map system, and hunts all feel right at home with the modern crop of RPGs. There are some features missing (like accessing the fast travel menu from anywhere or pinning the details of a hunt to the HUD) but it was a little unbelievable to see how close Square Enix was to making a game that was up to today’s standards in 2006. What I’m trying to say is that, in terms of gameplay, this game might hold up the best out of all the classic Final Fantasy games.

If you don’t mind that this is one of the weaker games in terms of story, then it is absolutely worth a playthrough. After playing it again, I’m still comfortable with this one falling into my top five favorite Final Fantasy games. Just know that what you’re getting with this one is totally unlike what you’ll get with other early games in the series. But, if you’re looking for another JRPG with modern sensibilities to play but haven’t played this one, give it a shot. You might be pleasantly surprised like I was.

Ugh. I kind of feel like ♥♥♥♥.

It might have to do with the fact that I pounded energy drinks until 4:00 so I could finish this game. I couldn’t help it, though: I had to see this thing through.

I forgot how much I loved Silent Hill 2. I mean, a lot of the early games in the series hold a place in my heart. But it was 2 that I obsessed over. I loved recounting the story for people who would never be able to stomach actually playing the damned thing. I even used to have a plot analysis I printed off from GameFAQs that moved with me from state to state. So, even when I couldn’t access my PS2 to play the actual game, I could read over the plot analysis. I’d steep myself in the plot beats, sinister twists, secret endings, fan theories, source materials… Like tonguing a sore tooth, I’d find some ill-begotten solace in this.

Because that’s kind of what Silent Hill 2 does, isn’t it? It gets caught under the player’s skin like a shard of glass that breaks off and is impossible to remove without digging. It is synonymous with illness and ending. Lust and corruption. Terror and beyond.

Yeah. I feel like ♥♥♥♥. But I’m happy to feel this way again.

We old folks were cursed to look on in horror as Konami degenerated into a pile of dog puke in the 2010s. And, though I’m less familiar with the circumstances, I know Bloober Team has had their share of issues as well. So, when the Silent Hill 2 Remake project was announced, it was met with much gnashing of teeth. Konami had already bungled a remaster of the game in the years before the announcement, so there were very few people who had any faith in this project. The players had every right to feel this way; the original Silent Hill 2 is, without exaggerating, a cornerstone of horror (not just in games but in the genre as a whole) and every attempt to recreate the magic of the original game has fallen on its face.

But, somehow Konami and Bloober Team have found a way to hit that vein again. Even as a guy who just wanted to replay Silent Hill 2 after all these years and had my fingers crossed that it would be good the entire time, I’m floored by what I just experienced.

They’ve managed to capture the feel of playing the original game while modernizing everything about it. The oppressive atmosphere always keeps the player on edge – even with updated combat mechanics, there is no guarantee of safety here. Every staircase, every room, every corner is an opportunity for Silent Hill to strike at the player. Whether it’s an enemy waiting for James behind a cardboard box so it can spring out like a trap or the environment suddenly, inexplicably collapsing further in on itself like a singularity, this is a long, crushing trek through a world that hates you and wants to see you suffer… just like it’s supposed to be.

All of the ingredients that made the original stand tall like a looming behemoth are here.

The sound design was the first thing that caught my attention. I think it says something that the music that plays as James first explores Silent Hill got my heart racing and set me on edge. It’s that beautiful dissonance of exploring a quiet, misty town while discordant music thunders through the speakers, landing squarely in the player’s gut. Skittering that makes the skin itch, crashes from nowhere and everywhere, mumbling voices when no one’s in the room with you. It’s all here and it’s all perfect.

And every character has as much punch as they did in the original. Or, dare I say, even more so: I don’t remember Eddie making my skin crawl as much in 2001 as he did in 2024. Some of it is his model, sure; his constant sheen of sweat makes him appear unwell and gives the player the impression that he reeks of something putrid. But it’s his pointed taunting and teasing that truly seeps into the player. And they completely nailed Angela’s transformation. As the story progresses and her dreamlike dissociation begins to peel back, her cold defensiveness comes forward. The tables turn: she’s no longer trapped in a room with James, James is trapped in a room with her. And the player feels it.

One of the things that had people worried before the game’s release was the combat. PlayStation released a “combat reveal” trailer that sent a lot of people flocking to their keyboards to share their outrage that Konami and Bloober Team turned the main character into a monster-killing-machine. You see, the combat in the original Silent Hill 2 intentionally felt awful. James isn’t a trained soldier – he’s a guy who finds a two-by-four on the ground and is using it to survive. But fears about this aspect of the game turned out to be unfounded; every encounter has the potential to be the last one if the player is caught off guard. A little more fluidity helps ease things along without making the monsters feel like cannon fodder.

Of course, the story is one of the game’s greatest strengths and much of it remains untouched here. None of the minor changes made in this version detracted from the story whatsoever. The one thing that might be missed that is tangentially related to the story is the original’s fixed camera perspective. The over-the-shoulder camera in the remake works great, but the exemplary camera direction is now mostly limited to cutscenes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s a necessary change.

I don’t count it as a negative, but this game is long compared to other modern horror games. Considering the price of admission, I didn’t mind the extended playtime at all. On top of that, I think it was handled extremely well. In the original Silent Hill games, it felt like at least half of the doors the player came across were locked with no way to unlock them. In the remake, however, a lot of those locked doors are now unlockable from the other side. This means that, as the player progresses through the environments, they are opening shortcuts they can use when they need to backtrack later on. What starts as a meandering trek through the hospital (or wherever) turns into quickly zipping from place to place to solve puzzles as the level progresses.

Honestly, I think the length of the game adds to the oppressive feeling of the environment itself. Sometimes it feels like it’s never going to end… and I think that’s the point. You, the player, begin to lose hope that you’ll ever find refuge, right alongside James.

That neatly brings me to the most important question anyone should be asking: is the game scary? And, um, yeah, it scared the ♥♥♥♥ out of me. There are multiple parts that are going to linger in my mind for far longer than is healthy. Without getting into spoilers, there is a scenario at the beginning of the Labyrinth that had my pulse pounding and left me short of breath. The final stage was so eerie that it ruined the color yellow for me. And scouring the desolate locations around the town felt so realistic that it reminded me of the times years ago when I explored abandoned buildings and retroactively made my memories scarier. This game is just as devastating as the 2001 version, if not more so.

Silent Hill 2 Remake not only managed to retain the feel of late-90s/early-2000s survival horror games while bringing it up to current standards, but it also managed to dredge up the feelings of true terror that, I think, only comes from horror games. So, yeah, I recommend this game. I recommend it so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard. It quickly and handily became my Game of the Year. However: if you’re thinking about pulling the trigger on this one, keep in mind that this game is not fun. It’s not supposed to be. If you don’t like the idea of being subjected to pervasive, creeping dread that will slowly burrow into you until your insides feel wrong and your own skin doesn’t feel right on your body anymore… maybe skip it? It might make you feel like ♥♥♥♥. But, if you’re like me and you’re chasing that feeling, buy it right now. Do not hesitate. Jump down the hole.

This one took me by surprise. I decided to give it a try while The Last of Us was downloading and found myself completely hooked by the story.

That’s good because this is a visual novel, so the story’s kind of important. There are no choices to make. Or alternate endings. This is a linear story that will last you between thirty minutes and an hour.

But, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what an hour it is. Despite its short playtime, this is a story that will stick with you – whether you want it to or not. I won’t say anything about the plot so I don’t give anything away. But this story is distressing, disgusting, and distasteful. There are moments where it literally made me feel nauseous. So, yeah, it’s pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome!

If I have any complaints about the game, it's that it could have used a bit more art. The art style is great - but I want more!

If that sounds like your cup of tea, you might as well give it a try. For this price and with this little time investment, you won’t be out much, even if you don’t like it.

Alright, folks. Go ahead and get your clown emojis ready. You’re going to need them.

I started this game with every intention of hating it. I’ve never liked zombie stuff and this game just seemed like another zombie thing in a long line of lame zombie things. (Note: Resident Evil doesn’t count for reasons I get into here.[slanderoid.com]) You might be wondering why I would play a game that I’m sure I wouldn’t like. I dunno. If you ask the Sony stans, it’s supposed to be really good. So I thought I’d judge it for myself, I guess. Besides, I needed something meaty to sink my teeth into before Silent Hill 2 comes out.

Sure enough, the first few hours confirmed my suspicions: the game was going to be more about human drama and killing random dudes that it was going to be about killing zombies. This is the downfall of most zombie stuff: eventually, it mostly forgets about the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ zombies. If I want to see humans being disgusting to each other, I’ll turn on the TV and see what hideous ♥♥♥♥ the mutants on the nation’s largest cable news channel are regurgitating today.

But after a few hours had passed, something miraculous happened: I started having fun.

I’m certain that my perspective began to change as the ratio of zombie-to-human combatants started shifting. Eventually, it got to the point where I was rarely fighting humans and, instead, was under almost constant threat from zombies. Awesome!

Thinking back on it, I think the thing that finally made it clear to me that I was enjoying myself was the unbelievable attention to detail in this game. You see, I had just made it to the first town in the game and was given my first opportunity to just explore. What I found was not just a bunch of treasure, but also a world that simultaneously felt lived in and abandoned – just as a post-apocalyptic world should be. To say that the environments in this game are completely convincing is to sell them short. Honestly, they are frequently jaw-droppingly beautiful in their own disquieting way.

The other thing that slowly (and discreetly) won me over was the game’s pacing. There are a lot of tense fights with enemies, but there are just as many periods of relative calm where the player is free to explore the world and listen to the characters’ banter. The writers/developers displayed a masterful sense of when to pull their punches and when to bash the player in the head with a cinderblock.

There were a lot of little things that started to impress me as well. Resources, for instance, are usually found in places where they’d be found in real life. Need some rubbing alcohol and rags? Try looking in a bathroom drawer. Are you looking for nuts and bolts? Check the shelves in the garage.

In fact, it seems that the developers went to painstaking lengths to make this game feel as real as possible. There is no magic map with icons to show your position or destination. (Though there is also little need for one because this game is linear AF.) Listening (this game’s version of “detective vision”) is very limited – it only works if the enemy has made noise in the last couple of seconds. There is very little music, because there is nowhere for music to come from in the game’s world. The list of little details that coalesce to make this game feel true-to-life is long and I’m too lazy to type the rest out.

So, as I finished out the Summer chapter and played through Fall, I was riding high. ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ cloud nine, baby.

But then, Winter came.

Winter starts strong. There’s a cool hunting sequence. Then, there’s a big, tense zombie fight.

And then, the zombies disappear.

The rest of the chapter, as I’d feared at the beginning of the game, turned into a dude-murdering simulator. Spring, the following chapter, followed a similar formula: a big (but, I think, incongruous) zombie fight, followed by a heaping helping of obliterating regular jackoffs for the rest of the game. Exactly as I suspected before I started the game, it turned into a human drama with zombies as a background set piece.

There are no zombie bosses. (And bloaters don’t count because they’re pretty common.) The four types of zombies you meet along the way are the four you’ll see throughout the entire game. There are no unique mutations and no zombies affected by the environment. Would it have killed someone to put in a zombie that got tangled in razor wire and accidentally turned into the ultimate killing machine? There’s razor wire everywhere, after all… But, nope, nada, nothing. There are four types that you’ll see over and over and over and that’s it.

I guess that’s better than the humans: there is only one type of human. The only difference between them is what type of weapon they happen to be holding.

So, yeah, I thought this game was going to be the exception that disproves the rule. Instead, I found a game that reinforced my beliefs about the genre. That’s why I marked this one as “Not Recommended”. That rating is based solely on my own bias as a guy who prefers not to play games that focus on realistic human-on-human violence. This is an objectively decent game. (Though I also have a laundry list of inconsistencies that I decided not to include here because nobody’s perfect.) If you’ve made it this far into the review, you probably know whether you would enjoy this game or not. But, if there’s anyone out there who shares my sensibilities (i.e., a precious snowflake like me), there’s no way I would recommend this game to them.

This game is one of my favorites of all time. I’d say it’s easily in my top twenty games – no easy feat, since I usually find open-world games repugnant.

In fact, I tried playing it long before I settled in and played it start to finish. I was immediately inundated with a horde of characters who acted as if I should already know who they were. By the time I got to the part where I could freely explore the world, I was already overwhelmed. Letting me loose to explore the land as I pleased only made me feel more anxious. So, I stopped playing then and there.

Something about the experience must have captured my imagination, though. Since I was miffed that I learned little about the characters other than their names and a bit about their relationships with Geralt, I decided that I should be better prepared if I ever tried playing it again. That’s when I vowed that I would read the books before I went back to the game.

Then years went by. (I’ve got tons of practice at saying I’ll do something and then never doing it. It’s something I’m super good at.) I didn’t really think about it again until the first season of the Netflix series was announced. And suddenly, I was determined to read the books and play this game before the show debuted.

What ensued was a months-long quest to read everything from The Last Wish to Season of Storms. Between the first few books in the series, I read other, random books to keep from burning myself out. By the end of the series, though, I was reading the books back-to-back. Not because I was running out of time before the show came out… No, the books had me completely captivated.

This was a little strange to me. After reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings series a couple of years prior and finding it to be a miserable experience (yes, I hate The Lord of the Rings books – fight me, Tolkien nerds), I had avoided fantasy books and, more broadly, book series altogether. So, to find myself completely infatuated with this fantasy series I had only heard of through video game news articles and wanting more and more of it left me dumbstruck. From the first two books (that are filled with monsters and action and sex but were still able to contain some depth) to The Lady of the Lake (whose narrative structure resembles a Russian nesting doll, with each layer showing another step in Ciri’s path to become the most powerful Witcher in history), I was in for the ride completely. I was thrilled, I laughed, and, though it’s been a few years and my memory is hazy, I probably bawled like a little baby in the end.

Anyway, as I mentioned before, after the final book in the series, I wanted more. Luckily, there was The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt waiting for me in my Steam library. And, this time, I was ready.

My god, this game. I can’t describe what it felt like to finally see these characters that I had spent months reading about brought to life to continue their adventures. To say I was moved would undersell the way I felt the first time I hopped onto Roach and galloped through the hills of Velen. This game was completely engrossing for hundreds of hours and it’s something that I’ll never forget.

However, there is something even more important that my experience with The Witcher has done for me: I’ve discovered a love for fantasy, and I’ve been more open to reading book series. (Serieses? Seri? Whatever.) Since my time spent with Geralt and the rest of the crew, I’ve read both The First Law series by Joe Abercrombie and The Expanse by James S. A. Corey – two series I never would have even considered reading if it wasn’t for The Witcher. Hell, I even got a tattoo of Geralt’s magic signs down my forearm a couple of weeks ago.

As you can probably tell, this game means a great deal to me. I can’t do anything besides recommend it. (And the book series, obviously.)

But I think the most important thing to take a way from this review is this: The Lord of the Rings ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks, guys. Guys: it’s boring as hell. It’s just sooooo ♥♥♥♥♥♥, guys. The Witcher makes The Lord of the Rings its ♥♥♥♥♥. Do you know what I do when I can’t sleep? I turn on The Lord of the Rings and I slip into a coma out of pure boredom. If I was trapped on a deserted island with only The Lord of the Rings, I’d let myself get eaten by sharks. The Lord of the Rings is so dumb, it might as well be yo momma…

...

Edit: I thought I should mention that this is my 100th review on Steam, so I wanted it to be something special. I hope you found it worthwhile. Don't worry - I'll be back to talking about boobs and farts again with the next one. Anyway, congrats to me! 🥳

Just like my review of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!, this one has been in the making for a long time. I made it my personal goal to play through all the Borderlands games back when this one was announced. It only took me five years or so, but here we are! I’ve finally played the game that has been in the back of my mind all these years… and I have some Thoughts.

When this came out, I remember some folks poo-pooing on the writing/story of this one. That sentiment was echoed by people I talked to as well as within this very review section. And, yeah, I can’t dispute any of that. The new villains are *okay* - but they’re no Handsome Jack. And the story, despite containing some events that will forever alter the Borderlands canon, is far from gripping. I’d say it lands smack-dab in the middle for me: it’s not as good as Borderlands 2 or the first Tales game, but is much better than the craptastic stories from Borderlands and The Pre-Sequel!

But the story is only part of the story; who’s playing a Borderlands game for the plot anyway? Borderlands games are about pew-pewing psychos and aliens, after all! A, fortunately, this game excels at that part.

On a fundamental level, the game is the same as its predecessors: turn the enemies into blobs of viscera by any means necessary, hope they drop a better gun than the one you’re holding, and repeat. The meaningful changes to the formula appear to be minutiae on paper but, in practice, they improve the game so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much.

Take the ledge grab. Now, I bet you’re all like “WoWeE, a LeDgE gRaB, tAkE aLl My MoNeY”. But I promise you, it makes a huge difference. Not only are gunfights more dynamic because of it, it allows for more interesting platforming outside of battle. Speaking of platforming, it’s now a trillion times easier to find locations that are above and below the player because of one simple change: the map is now in 3D instead of being a 2D plane. (I don’t think I mentioned it in my other reviews, but a big gripe of mine from the preceding games was how points of interest could be hard to find since the map gave no indication of the point’s altitude.) And, while we’re on the subject of wandering around, some of it has been eliminated due to another simple change: vehicles are now fast travel points. So, if the player needs to return to an NPC on the other side of the map to turn in a quest, they can do so with minimal backtracking. Just bloop back over to your vehicle and you can get right back to giving radiation poisoning to screaming weirdos.
There are more small changes than these, but they are either too small to remember or are too small to mention. Regardless, they all come together to smooth out the gameplay and make this the most fun entry in the series to this point.

But it’s not just little things that have changed. There is a major improvement that boosts this one far beyond most entries in the franchise: the levels are good!

My biggest complaint about Borderlands and The Pre-Sequel! is that the levels in those games are mostly snoozefests. Thankfully, Borderlands 3 takes place on several different planets, each with their own visual style and enemy types. Those planets are further divided into different biomes, each with their own unique visual flair. My nuts almost busted every time I came across the tell-tale blue forcefield that indicates and entry point to a new map: I couldn’t wait to see what surprises lay in store for me on the other side! That’s a far cry from The Pre-Sequel! where almost every new map made me shudder at the thought of exploring a new portion of the barren moon. Jesus, the moon is sooooo booooring!

Obviously, this game isn’t perfect. There are few things about it I would change. (Like the false ending before the player reaches the final planet. This joke backfires a little, seeing how there’s still another 10% of the game to play afterward…) But those minor dings don’t hold the game back from being on par with Borderlands 2. I even think they’re tied for best in the series. Fans should absolutely give this one a try if they haven’t already. Especially since it’s frequently cheaper than dirt.

After playing through NLT Media’s previous offering, Treasure of Nadia, I was anxious to dive back into their world full of adventure, thrills, and *ahem* adult extracurricular activities. I was gob smacked by the level of quality and huge amount of content in the previous game, and, surely, the next game was going to further improve upon an already winning formula, right? So, does the new game live up to the hype I built up around it in my own head?

Ummm… Well, yeah. Pretty much. I mean, the gameplay is mostly unchanged, the story is, once again, complete nonsense, and visually, it’s equally as impressive as the previous game. The improvements are more subtle than I was expecting. For instance, the sound design has improved: the H scenes no longer sound as if there’s a dinosaur battle happening just off-camera. There are even a few scenes that are fully voice acted in this one! Impressive stuff. And, speaking of the scenes, this time around they’re a bit more… adventurous. More variety is always a good thing, in this case.

But that’s also where the game stumbles. Where the scenes themselves will appeal to more refined tastes than the first game, the new characters probably will not. Other than their different faces and personalities, everything else about them is virtually identical – if you catch my drift. Anyone interested in a wider range of representation will probably be a little disappointed.

The other part of the game that I feel an incessant need to grumble about is the story. Now, I’m not usually one to judge a saucy game on its story, but there is a lot of story here. Where Treasure of Nadia was about treasure hunting and making love potions, this one is more interested in church stuff and organized crime. To me, the story from the previous game was far more entertaining. But, hey, I’m not here to kink shame. Maybe this game’s story is someone’s thing, but it isn’t mine.

With that being said, this is still one of the highest quality mature games around. You can’t go wrong if you decide to pick this one up, even if you’re paying full price. However, if you have a choice between this one and Treasure of Nadia, I’d recommend going with Treasure of Nadia – at least before you play this one.

Every October, I subject myself to a constant onslaught of horror: I only read horror books, I only watch horror movies, and I only play horror games. While that may seem like overkill, it pretty much slakes my need for horror for the entire year afterward.

But, even for a freak like me, a palate cleanser is due once November comes. So, after this past Halloween, I decided to settle in for something extremely cozy. And I couldn’t have picked a better game to come down from my horror high if I tried.

Unpacking is exactly as the title suggests: you unpack boxes as some unseen protagonist moves from home to home throughout their life. There are no timers and no real challenges (unless you’re going for the extremely-easy-to-get 100% completion). It’s the very definition of chill… even when deciphering what objects are and where they belong proves to be more difficult than it should be.

My favorite part of the game must be the story, though. It’s told exclusively through environmental storytelling. This is usually a negative for me, but all of the cues are easy to pick up, even to an unobservant schmuck like myself. I went along for the ride alongside the protagonist, feeling every high and low point along the way.

If I have something to gripe about, it will have to be the game’s length. This game is very short (it can easily be finished in one sitting) but that didn’t keep me from feeling like it overstayed its welcome. The levels get progressively longer as the game goes on and, by the last couple of levels, I was audibly saying “okay, okay, I get it” to myself. It makes sense in that, as we live our lives, the number of things we carry only increases. But I think that if the developers had found a clever way to do the opposite, it could have been just as impactful. You know, the fleeting nature of life, the years really fly by, and all that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

I think that’s all there is for me to say about this one. If it sounds like your cup of tea, you should give it a try. The asking price is pretty steep for what it is, though, so I would recommend waiting for it to be in a bundle or on sale before buying it.

Huh. I can’t believe I didn’t review this game when I played it back in the day. It was one of my favorite Resident Evil games at the time. I refuse to blame myself, so the excuse I’m going with is that there have just been so many great entries in the series released since then that this one has gotten lost in the fray… But that’s a good problem to have, I suppose.

Well, let me set my opinions in stone, here and now: it’s damned good.

As one of the many people who were afraid that the series was starting to lose its way after sixth (and, arguably, the fifth) installments in the series, I was happy to see Capcom step back and reevaluate their darling horror franchise. And, unlike many reboots, it was a huge ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ success. Not only did the seventh game signal a return to the series’ horror roots, it did so while being the first mainline entry that took place in first-person perspective. Basically, it was a win-win for everybody, whether they wanted something old or something new.

Normally, I’m not a fan of intelligent “zombies”. (It kind of defeats the purpose of the whole “zombie” thing, if you ask me. They’re supposed to be stupid.) But, the Baker family is so interesting / likeable / terrifying that I don’t mind it here. Jack Baker stalking me through the halls of the house and the subsequent confrontation with him are stand-out moments from, not only this game, but the entire series, if you ask me. The family is truly unforgettable.

Of course, like every good Resident Evil game, it starts to fall flat. Just like most of the others, the bosses start to have too many tentacles and there are just too many head explosions for things to be scary anymore. But, again, most Resident Evil games do this, so I won’t take off too many points for it happening here.

Honestly, my biggest gripe about this game is that we never got the VR version that PlayStation players got. What the ♥♥♥♥, Capcom? Don’t you like money?

Okay, my memory about the game is starting to fail me. So, in conclusion, if you haven’t played this one (and especially if you played and enjoyed Resident Evil: Village), you really ought to do yourself a favor and play it. You could wait for a sale, but, seeing how low the asking price is now, it’s even worth picking up when its not on sale.