Recent reviews by Poisoned Al

This is a really fun game. WHEN YOU CAN PLAY IT! So far most of my time has been spent "matchmaking" while the awful dedicated server juggles its balls. Because EVERYTHING just HAS to be always online you can't play solo. There's no Crimenet so you can't easily drop into games in progress. In fact the whole awful menu system reeks of consoleitis.

Again it's a fun game, but the stink of AAA bulls**t ruins it. If this keeps up for much longer I'm getting a refund.

Fun game, pathetic plot. It's trying to do this "wooOOOOooo! We are the ones in control!" thing but falls on its arse. It doesn't react or punish you at all to you disobeying or misbehaving. It just waits for you to get bored and play along. That makes it dull as all hell. Like the time it went "OOOO! Try to disconnect! I bet you can't!!!" I alt-F4 and it shuts down. Reload. ".... OOOO! Try to disconnect! I bet you can't!!!" It's a ghost train ride where it doesn't understand that you got off the train and are kicking the crap out of the paper skeletons. This is to the point that it's condescending and turned a fun game into an annoyance.

I've come to this game late and it's been all the better for it. I've not had to deal with the BS that has now been striped away or neutered. Also you can also buy most of the DLC is a reasonably priced pack and the base game for pennies. Unlike Left For Dead there is progression and choice. Working on and testing your builds is super fun and gets crazy at the harder difficulties.

You can pet the three headed hell dog.

GOTY.

You know I was going to give this game a chance. I spent 125 hours on all the side missions before taking the point of no return mission. You know, the one it tell you to do all the side stuff? Well guess what? There's a part with an unskippable on rails drone segment that KEEPS F'ING CRASHING IN THE SAME F'ING PLACE EVERY F'ING TIME! The game had only crashed on me once before. Sure it have bugs up the anus but nothing game braking. UNTIL THE FINAL F'ING MISSION AFTER I DID ALL THE OTHER CONTENT! Go to hell CDPR! I guess there wasn't any play testers in that sweatshop of yours!

Yes, I really want the utter ♥♥♥♥-wits at Bethesda kernel level access to my machine. Piss off!

They shouldn't have added anti-vaxers, because it's not nice to make fun of the mentally handicapped.

The story is something like a 7-year-old would come up with after eating their own body-weight in sherbert. It's great!

A broken pile of garbage! For starters, the game decided it was a special little snowflake and was going to run on my second screen. Apparently it was too hip for my main monitor and there is no video options what so ever to change! Trying to find these options I tried opening the input settings. The only way I could escape this screen is by alt-F4ing.

Only the cretins at Sega could F' up an emulator this badly! Piss off!

Lets you punch alien sharks in a mech suit! 10/10

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Well I mean you are in the mech suit. Trying to punch robotic alien sharks would end badly.