Oh hello there, I'm João. I enjoy watching the sunset, having nice conversations over fine wine (french of course), but above all I enjoy long walks on the beach.

Just imagine it! Me, with a sporty sweater around my waist walking along the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting on all the endearing little things I did that week. For example, the way I mistook that girl for an adult at the party in my penthouse. And that was but one of the adorable little crimes I commited that night.

Oh, I'm so naughty!

There's just something about a beach coastline that really brings out the ondulation of my tight little buttocks. And can we talk about my package? Yes, we can! you say! (Yeah, I can hear you!). Not too gorilla-bulgy or ostentatious, just a healthy German schnauzer hugged snug in a spandex hammock. Nothing too off the scale, but you know, just right for the motion of the ocean or the pumps and bump, if you know what I mean (Did I get that right? I hope my age isn't showing! LOL! ((Ooh, I just used an "internet word" (((I'm doing the quotey thing with my fingers!)))))).

I know you may have had long walks on the beach before, but probably not with me. My walks on the beach are long, I'll tell you right now! "But probably not as long as you last in the sack!" you banter.
Guilty as charged!
As we saunter down the coast maybe there will be a little fanny patting (That is, if you get impatient!) and a few coquettish glances at my stuff downstairs. And don't be surprised if I pop a cork on a bottle of Dom Perignon during our little stroll and pour a splash or two on my Coppertone-glistening body. Yeah, I guess I'm a little spontaneous like that. Not that I'm expecting the same type of spontaneity from you of course. The occasional "duh" inserted between my droll anecdotes will be more than sufficient.

This is how I picture you: You are on the coast, with me (probably wearing my cheetah-spotted D&G’s), walking along and thinking about the sweet nothings you might be whispering to me in my sinewy, Bowflexed arms that night. You are a bit flabby around the waist, and you could probably use a few more hours a week at the gym, but you are still looking pretty good. (Not Marilyn Monroe good, but no worries, you can leave that department up to me!) You have a sparking gleam in your eyes which I can see myself in, still oblivious to how absolutely gorgeous I look at that moment. You'll say something oh so tender, which I can’t remember an hour later when I'm serving you my lion-esque style of penetration, and then before you know it the walk is over.

Oh, how time flies when you're having me !

Let's cut to the chase now. You can reach me at slimnsexyinyou@hotmail.com with an attached pic of yourself (no fatties, please!) and you just might be watching the lazy beach tide lap at my freshly shaven feet this weekend. Are you feeling lucky?

Let’s get sending, ladies!