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Ayr, Queensland, Australia 
Shrek: Are you talking to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him) Whoa!
Donkey: Yes. I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
Shrek: (annoyed) Oh, that's great. Really.
Donkey: Man, it's good to be free.
Shrek: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
Donkey: But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
The Captain: You there. Ogre!
Shrek: Aye?
The Captain: By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and...(Shrek slowly approaches the group of guards, the guards visibly frightened by him) transport you to... a designated...resettlement...facility?
Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army? (smiles)
(The Captain looks behind himself and sees that all the other guards have abandoned him. The Captain tucks tail and runs off. Shrek shakes his head and starts walking back to his swamp. Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him)
Old Woman: No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
(The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and starts floating upwards)
Donkey: Hey! I can fly!
Peter Pan: He can fly!
3 Little Pigs: He can fly!
The Captain: He can talk!
Donkey: Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (The pixie dust's effects begin to wear off) Uh-oh. (He drops out of the air and hits the ground with a thud)
The Captain: Seize him!
(Donkey dodges the guards as they try to grab him and runs deeper into the forest)
Guards: After him! He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!
The Captain: Next! What have you got?
Old Woman: Well, I've got a talking donkey.
The Captain: Right. Well, that's good for 10 shillings. If you can prove it.
Old Woman: Oh, go ahead, little fella. (Donkey stays silent)
The Captain: Well?
Old Woman: Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. (Smacks Donkey again) Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk!
The Captain: That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
Old Woman: No, no, he talks! He does. (Moving Donkey's lips) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talking-est damn thing you ever saw.
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are locked inside giant cages, with Little Bear in his own cage
Little Bear: (crying) This cage is too small.
Donkey: (To his owner) Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
Old Woman : Oh, shut up. (smacks Donkey)
The Captain: Next! What have you got?
Geppetto: This little wooden puppet.
Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)
The Captain: 5 shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
Pinocchio: Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!