Why do you want to slap and peg my dogs? -Walter 2021
Always start with anal. -Oskar 2021
I know a ♥♥♥♥ when I see one. Well actually I don't -Walter 2019
You just gotta take a deep breath and give up.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Grammar: The diffrence between knowing your ♥♥♥♥ and you're ♥♥♥♥
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser get anything.
I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.
Forgive and forget? I'm neither Jesus nor do I have alzheimer's.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
Today I will be as useless as the "g" in lasagna.
Row row row your boat gently the ♥♥♥♥ away from me.
Remember when I asked for you opinion? Yeah me neither.
You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
I never liked you, and I always will.
Include me out.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
I almost gave a ♥♥♥♥. Scared the ♥♥♥♥ out of myself..
Your life can't fall apart if you never had it together.
Yes I know there is a real special place in Hell for me. It is called a throne.
Everyday thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetariants, help end the violence. Eat bacon.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I cant stick my head that far up my ass.
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times you know, just to be sure.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know im hilarious.
Its okay if you dont like me. Not everyone has good taste.
If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.
I dont have the energy to pretend to like you today.
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
Let's share.. You'll take the grenade, I'll take the pin.
I clapped because its finished, not becouse I like it.
I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.
My friends are so much cooler than yours. They are invisible.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now i'm not too sure.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!