Zero Hour. Zzzzzzero Hour. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

OH! Sorry, I fell asleep at the loading screen because it's taking ten ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ minutes. Right then, Zero Hour. This is a game that wants to be a tactical, hyper-realistic and intense game. Where the enemies behave in a manner that real terrorists would in an environment they called safe that is then being breached by a SWAT team. A game where the gunplay feels satisfying beyond all belief, and the weapons are as lethal as they are in real life. A game whe-

Hold on what are you doing just standing in front of that terrorist? He just unloaded an entire magazine of a MAC10 into the door frame between you guys? Well I guess he wasn't much a threat, just tell him to surrender. What's that? He won't? Then that's an act of hostility, first rule of the rules of engagement. Pop him in the head then. What do you mean we got docked points for it because it was unauthorized?

Yes, sorry to disappoint you, dear reader, but this game really is none of that. It's a disasterpiece of a game that truly encapsulates what it feels like to be in what we could charitably call a tech demo. To call it special truly would be a lie, simply because this game is the perfect embodiment of incompetence in developers. What in God's name were they thinking? That's a trick question, they evidently weren't at all.

To truly provide an idea of what this game really is like, then let's take you through a match. First of course I set my region to the correct place, mine being in the US, either East or West should be fine. Next I'll hit Quick Match to find a PvP game...

Any day now...

Maybe someday I can get one...

Alright, screw PvP, let's just do Co-Op with a few friends.

We all party together and start up a match. Some of us making our own preset loadouts before the match started, some not knowing you can do such a thing and waiting until the game starts. After another 5 minutes of loading, we come across our first problem. Those who have already set up their loadouts now have to wait through an irritating 30 second timer in order for us to actually start. The timer isn't too annoying at first, but when we inevitably have to keep restarting to reasons that will be made clear later, it starts to get on everyone's nerves. The other members don't have the same problem, but rather the opposite. In trying to make a loadout that appeals to them, the 30 second timer just isn't enough, and they get cut off half way. After the loadouts, we then get to the planning screen which the developers thankfully let the party leader skip, because it's just as unreadable as a book written in a kindergartener's handwriting.

The match then finally begins proper. All five of us spawn at the spawnpoints we selected, and the game can begin. 10 seconds later one of the lads loses connection. Nothing to do on his end, just that the game decided he can't play this match right now. He says don't worry about it and move on with the game, he'll just join us in the next one. Now down a man, we split into two teams of two (labelled A and B, each member represented by 1 and 2), one going top side (A) and the other starting at the bottom (B). We remind each other that the objectives are to secure two hostages and kill the terrorists, as well as find a red envelope somewhere. No worries, shouldn't be too difficult a job.

While rapelling up, the two members going topside decide they'll pick off enemies through the windows they go past as to make it easier for the teams down the line. They get to the first one, see an enemy raise a shotgun at them, and pop him in the head. The shot doesn't kill him, allowing him to pop off a shot back at them, A2 then takes 80 damage from the shotgun round that was fired from the opposite end of the room through a barred window. They fire again at his head, dropping him. A musical string is played to signify that we broke the rules of engagement, and shot him unauthorized. Everyone questions this, as they were apparently supposed to just let him keep shooting. They go up to the next window, see two enemies. A1 just cracks off a shot into the first one, killing him with no string. A2 barks commands at the other one to put his gun down. The man doesn't listen and pops off a shot at A2, killing him. A1 fires back at him, hitting him in the chest twice, no musical string. The game wants us to bark commands at the enemy to make them surrender, punishing us for following the rules of engagement by causing one of our members to die. It also wants us to not shoot back at enemies who are firing at us, again punishing us. It will punish us for not following RoE and just firing at the enemies by marking us with unauthorized engagement, which is fair enough. It will then also mark us for unauthorized engagement for firing at someone who was shooting at us. Do you understand how confusing it gets, reader?

Meanwhile, Team B isn't going on much a cakewalk either. They go through the main entrance and see a spiral staircase, as well as an entrance to a room in front of them. B1 watches the staircase incase anyone comes down, and B2 slowly opens the door to the room in front of them. No enemies yet, but B2 notices a tripwire on the door frame, somehow not activating by the door opening, but whatever. He disarms it and opens the door entirely. We learn that there are tripwires. A1 is informed about this, as well as B1. B2 goes in, noticing two closed doors, one to each of his flanks. He also notices an open corner rounding to another room, no door in the way. He peaks the corner, picks off two enemies, catching some return fire. No musical strings. He opens the door to his left, pops another enemy (no string), and finds the first hostage. B1 is informed of this, and comes in. B2 points out the hostage, and B1 is confused.

"What hostage?" B1 says.

"The one right in front of you. I'm marking him right now." B2 replies.

"I don't see a hostage here." B1 retorts.

"I'll just grab him and take him out. Maybe it's glitched." B2 says, not knowing that he was right about a glitch.

B2 then went to grab the hostage, but he's not getting up. At this point, A2, who is dead by now and spectating B2, speaks up.

"I don't see him either, B2. Maybe we're all Desynced."

How right he was. Everyone then realized that the mission couldn't be completed, because a desync won't let everyone see the same hostage, and hostages won't go with anyone. They decide to at least try to take out the rest of the enemy force, in hopes to learn a bit more about the game's mechanics before backing out.

B1 walks through another doorway into the room that B2 dropped two enemies in, checking the door for a tripwire. No wire, so he walks through. An explosion is then heard, and B1 is dropped to 30 health.

"What the hell?" B1 says, "There wasn't a tripwire."

B2 then follows him, at least knowing that the tripwire is gone now. He crosses the door frame, and then entirety of B team explodes and dies because of an untripped tripwire. The entire B team and A2 are flustered by what the just saw, and A1 is confused by what he heard. A1 makes it to the roof where he sees no enemies, then gets shot in the back twice, putting him down. The entire squad, including the fifth member who got DC'd, decide to just back out and play something else.

Dear reader, this is what the game is. It's a buggy mess that doesn't deserve your money. If you'd like to see one of the most inconsistent and uncomprehensable messes of a game, then go right ahead. Otherwise, I'd recommend steering clear.