My friend bought this game in a 4 pack and was nice enough to give me a copy. So I loaded this baby up to see what all the fuss was about. I came to on a debris strewn coastline with not a damn thing on and anatomically correct lady bits (but I'm a guy???).

I proceeded to explore my surroundings and found a wonderful pumpkin patch. I was pretty excited, because, who wouldn't be? I picked a few pumpkins and then noticed up stream there was a rickety old cabin type building. My curiosity got the best of me. I started making my way there when I heard a sound. In a fury I turned myself around, rock at the ready. There standing before me was a man. But this was no ordinary man.

It was the devil himself. Decked out in terrifying clothes no doubt made from the marijowannas. Atop his shoulders sat a carved out pumpkin. My heart sank. I knew it was the end for me. As he shot me in the face with his fully automatic crossbow, I removed myself from my desk chair. Curled up into a ball. And began crying. My attacker must have heard this, for all I heard after were the sounds of his terribly laughter.

It will haunt me for the rest of my life.