Recent reviews by Crazy Old Lady

Something about this game is so incredible. You walk in to a level, Haunting Eternal starts, and you just enter a mode of just something. I don't know. It's good though.
It's so incredibly stressful, and when you die you're going to sit back in your chair and realise your heart is beating at triple its usual pace, and the moment you're done you're going to want to do it again. It's incredible and I love everything about it.

I've been flip-flopping on whether this should be a recommend or not.
The game is really good. Could do with more levels but what's there is definitely great.
If you lag, you can't play. And also you can lag while playing solo. That's the worst part.

The devs made a character named "Blue Jay Z," which is all you really need to know to understand the quality of this game.

10/10 this game uses celsius as the default temp.

There are a few things that I really like about this game:

1) I actually find the combat system to be very unique and engaging overall. It's so exhilarating when you beat a virus. It is overall very captivating. It's that type of game where I try to get to the bosses as soon as I can because they're an incredibly entertaining feature, and a challenge.

2) The visual design is seriously great. An example is of the outside of the station at night. Sure, the graphical design of the ground isn't anything to marvel at, but it's the background which truly sticks out. Seeing the Earth like that tells you everything that you need to know about why Earth stopped communicating with Lun Infinus; and I think this is perfectly underscored by point 3. (I won't mention the character designs because if you look at any other review for this game, they will definitely be mentioned.)

3) The music is great. It wasn't made for the game, sure, but its application certainly makes is seem like it was. In some scenes (like the night scene I mentioned in point 2) it fits perfectly. In some scenes, though, it could be better.

4) The story isn't perfect, but it's still alright. The themes (that I picked up on) throughout the beginning of the story were a bit jumbled, but I feel that it gets resolved as the story progresses.

5) You're a coffee pot. (Yes, the coffee pot is not your body, but you control the coffee pot, so it's good enough by my standards.)


That being said, I do have a few complaints:

1) The progression in this game is a bit whack. I get that it'd probably be too difficult to balance the bosses when you have access to four at any given time, but sometimes it's just off. Seriously, the third boss in Betagrid 0.9 isn't that bad, just like the ones before him, but then all of a sudden Viren pops up and he 1-hit KO's all of the derelicts every 0.5 seconds. It just seems a bit off, doesn't it?

2) Vulnera. Must I say more? Okay, I will. At the time of writing this, I have not yet beaten PULSAR. He literally used vulnera 3 times in a row. Not only are insta-kill mechanics in games bad (full-stop), but the fact that PULSAR has unlimited access to the most powerful move ever is a bit shocking. If I didn't have auto-continue, all of my attempts would be half the length. Seriously, I get that he's powerful, and the final boss, but that doesn't mean he should have the ability to end the fight just like that, whenever he wants. Anyway, this rant is now over.

3) Cosmic Sponge. Sure, you can bring his maximum health down with a tweak/hack, but I can't predict the future. Besides, in my second-last fight with PULSAR he used it EIGHT TIMES. He used it twice in a row when I'd brought him down to 75000 health. Cosmic Sponge is bad, and it should not be in the game. I just hate it so much.

4) Ending spoilers: The ending felt somewhat forced. That frame where coffee is sitting against the wall in Amos' room was a real gut punch, and it fit perfectly with the music. Of course, I understand the whole thing with the simulation of coffee and 217, but it just felt wrong and I think it sort of went against the main themes of the story. It didn't work, in my opinion. If the final cutscene simply stopped when it said "The End" that would have been really impactful, but the uplifting scene was just not fitting for the rest of the game. Don't get me wrong, I think the end was still pretty good, but it could have been so much better.

Anyway, that's me done with this review. It's a good game, definitely, and it deserves your money.
Oh yeah, it's free for some reason. It shouldn't be, though.

Game is good.
Goodbye.

Since playing this game, not only have I learned a completely different way to use my hands, but I also developed four types of cancer. Couldn't be better.

The game was pretty good, actually, but a long series of updates left the game in such a poor state that the average player count is less than it was in 2019, when the developers had shut down and the game was suspended in limbo. Quite sad, really.

When I play this game, all I can imagine is a giant bear throwing onion and olive pizzas at screaming children.

Very late to the party, I am.

Anyway it's a good game.

But I dislike the fact that you have to pay to get goatz and waste of space.

Otherwise it's good.

The very first thing I want to say is that no, I don't know how to open the box.
Not that you would've thought that anyway, but let's get on with the review.
Seriously, why would you think I actually knew that.

Seriously.

Anyway, reviewing time.
This game is great.
The jumpscares are easily the scariest in the series, and the feeling of helplessness you have just makes it harder to concentrate on the noises of animatronic breathing.
This game has a concept that is purely amazing, and is completely terrifying.
Just make sure you have a good pair of headphones.
Or else you're screwed.