After a good game in dota2, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great games and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard d1ck push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

Voulez vous un baiser mon chérie?
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⢼⣿⣷⣶⣾⡷⢸⣗⣯⣿⣶⣿⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣭⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⢻⣷⢻⣿⣧⠄
⠄⠄⣿⡏⣿⡟⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣼⣿⢸⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣧⢿⣧⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣴⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⡆
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣮⡻⠿⣿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢻⣿⢇⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄|

°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛*★.˛*.˛°˛°.°°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛°.°
★˛˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*.˛/\˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*★Merry*★* 。*˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛°.°
˛°_██_*..。*./.♥.\ .˛* .˛。.˛.*.★* Christmas*★ 。*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛
˛. (´• ̮•´)*.。*/.♫.♫\*˛.* ˛_Π_____.♥ ♥ ˛*and˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛°.˛*.˛°˛.°
.°( . • . ) ˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/ ~＼*. ˛* Happy New Year!*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.˛
*(...'•'...) *˛╬╬╬╬╬╬° | 田 田｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬
¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯` ´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`

Sharmoota

Nice name, exactly fits your real life description.

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⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣶⣄
⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣄
⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⣠⣴⣾⣷⣿⣷⠾⢷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡷
⠀⠀⠈⢿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷Hello fren⠹⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣾⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⠿⡿⢆⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠹⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⢀⣀⣈⣉⣉⣉⣙⣁⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⠈⠉⠙⠛⢻⣭⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⡏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡿⠇⠻⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⠇