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If that answers your question.
I know I have a situation here where when I delete the Web Browser Cache, it makes me appear online also, so I have to reset the setting to 'invisible'. That always works for me.
Now, check your settings there.
But from your reply, that seems to not be set incorrectly.
Did I misunderstand your OP above ?
You even mentioned "friends" here in the OP, as seeing you online and that might bother you with messages.
It seems the problem is archi steam farm, for card idling games. I guess it forces you to be visible for some reason. When I play an installed game myself appearing offline works.
I only ever checked when I was idling.