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@OP: That is pretty normal. The stability of a multiplayer games decreases over time, propably from the improvements of the colony(ies) (i.e. rising numbers of pawns, amount of stuff and animals).
That's the reason why you would want to have as few mods used, as possible. To me and my pals, only "a dog said" (because you can heal, operate, etc. your trained animals), "show draftees weapons", "color coded mood bars" and propably "prepare carefully" are the only ones we use when playing multiplayer...
Please take note, that only the first one mod is one who really changes actual gameplay mechanics, while the other ones only change minor ui-elements. That is no coincidence.
You better get used to it, until (and if) the developer brings out official multiplayer.