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Even the early NCR quests that send you to Cottonwood I did without impacting my relations with the legion by not killing (or silently doing so).
I wouldn't worry about XP, there's plentyyy of it without needing to do any NCR quests. I just done a run and ignored all but 2 NCR quests. By level 15-20 you'll already have the skills you want maxed out and be pretty OP. Then you'll have the DLCs to do before the main end quests too.
That just shows how competent the Legion is compared to the degenerate NCR. Legion gets crap done, we don't need profligates doing our dirty work! Ave true to Caesar! We will take over the Dam! This time.
There are pretty much only two regular Legion quests before you enter the strip. One of them is telling the Sgt at Mojave Outpost about the Nipton massacre and the other is going to Nelson and agreeing to wipe out Camp Forlorn Hope. I'm pretty sure sabotaging Helios One will spawn Legion there as well. You can also free Silus at Camp McCarran.
And then as you said, most NCR settlements can be sabotaged in some way via quest. Of everything mentioned, only the Helios One and Nelson quests would result in major NCR infamy. So you have some options.