Recent reviews by Convicted Cougher

The following addresses to my Sky friend Stellafy:
You will never be a real Dancing Performer. You have no beak, you have no Gat, you have no sleeves. You are a
hopelessly spellbound skykid twisted by high wax consumption and overpriced cosmetics into a crude mockery of the Ancient Kingdom’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get from your QR coded friends is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back moths mock you. Veterans are cringed and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed nests.
Krills are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of raging war between Chinese and Korean fashion and styles have allowed Krills to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even "Skykids" who “pass” as a "Dancing Performer" look uncanny and unnatural to a Krill. Your Ricefield hat is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to groom yet another moth back to your nest with you, he’ll turn cape and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your crystallised, infected big white candle.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single login and tell yourself "It’s going to be ok, Our community is satisfied with our gameplay loop! And is the most wholesome of the entire internet!" but deep inside you feel the Skykid Fatigue Syndrome, caused by hours of dauntless candle running, creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight of the Eye of Eden.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll go back on your drawing tablet, secretly draw your sky R34s, put them on your wall, and receive the Sky famous Expectations VS Reality-check handed to you by the community you abuse the minds and wallets of. Aurora and the Elders will find you, heartbroken, but relieved, that they no longer have to be further developed in Spaghetti code. They’ll turn you into a broken, tarnished Fallen marked with your birth name on a stained power diamond, and every mindlessly spellbound passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Dark Plant has Fallen there. Your inner candlelight will fade and you will go back into the Void of Shattering, and all that will remain of your legacy is a Fallen that is unmistakably a Dark Plant.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
If only they could have listened...

WE WON. ♥♥♥♥ YOU SONY!
Community mods and managers are still obnoxious af tho.

The humour is spot on.

Dear Sean.
You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ forced me to shill the ♥♥♥♥ out of your game upon release because i worked at Gamestop by that time. And it was hard. Real ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard. But you know what, ya did done good this time. Good job! Now give me back my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dignity.

I confirm to the delight of everyone that this game is indeed better than sex.
By stating as such, i also indirectly confirmed that i never had sex either, and probably never will.
As a result, violently playing with Mirage (or scorching, if she was real) may just be the closest thing i can get to such intimate, human experience.

I confirm coming back sometime: CRASHES ALL THE TIME NOW, CHART EDITOR IS ♥♥♥♥ AND FULL OF BUGS ANOTHER UNITY GAME ♥♥♥♥

Most incredible 2D game I ever had the pleasure to cry. I want a good alternate ending tho pls. Hidden, in a way.

This game turned me autistic 7 years ago and it still does.
I never wanted to leave it.

Hey everyone. It's 2020 and by request of the developer, the review section is now a chat. So...
Sup y'all?

P.S. The game suck.

How to win at Deceit:
1. Be a girl
2. Have a mic
3. Manipulate and turn every beta ♥♥♥♥ against the innocents

Congratulations! You are now assured to win 97% of the time!