Recent reviews by Henk Koffin

Ah! A nostalgic, ancient, game! Revived from the past to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kick our asses!
But, especially, to make us shout thundering profanities that put on fire the nearest relic of some saint who kicked the bucket centuries ago!
Praise be! Praised be! ♥♥♥♥ off! Alleluja! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!

Ps. it's always nice to point out that a game isn't rocket league, but you know that by now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHd8CbzKbUQ

Ok, uhm... ♥♥♥♥, that's a hard one.

Good things:
I don't really care about graphics, but they seem good to me.
Music fits.
Combat is fine, I guess. Every enemy has weak points but you can go trough like c4zz0mannaggia most of the time.
There are not so many weapons or abilities, and I think that's a good thing.
Locations and events are good enough, the talking corpses are a nice touch to understand what is happening around you .
The humanoid robots resemble Tafazzi.
It's not rocket league .
There are a lot of puzzle rooms that dampen the action parts a bit, I think that's OK.
Overhall gameplay feels good.
Frenetic combats are dangerous, but you can manage to win. The fights are fair enough.

Bad things:
I wonder why I see vaginas and mannequins in provocative poses everywhere. I also wonder why a red-refrigerator sexually harasses me.
I feel like the main character is stumbling every time I press the DASH button.
I often get damage because I got stuck between a table and a chair.
those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ repair robots.
there are a lot of unnecessary wtf moments.
I would have liked a little less "static" objects in the environment.
I guess the plot is ok, but nothing new / memorable;
the protagonist is visually confused by events, and so am I;
I hate waiting 20-30 seconds inside a elevator, I think they function as loading rooms, but imo a loading screen is less annoying.

Overhall vote: 55.
I think Atomic Heart is not a bad game and you can try it without too psychic harm. It may be not a piece of art that will go down in history, but it's worth a try.

In my opinion, a time limit in the main quest ruins all the fun a game could give.

One good thing is that it's not rocket league

lego games are usually fun, but this one is an exception.
At least, it's not Rocket league...

This is how it went:
1. CyberPunk pops out;
2. Looks cool;
3. Keanu is there;
4. It's a disaster;
5. You wait a few years, naively thinking that, in all this time, they have fixed things out;
6. You see the main character, slinding in T-Pose, headless, during a main cutscene;
7. You realise you have been a fool... Thankfully you managed to refund it.
8. in the end, at least, you realise that it is not rocket league. +1 point

Che tristezza

Wooosh
PUM PUM AAAARGH
SwoooOOOSH
Waaa! Waaa!
TRATATATA PUM


(to make it run you have to pray Satan, but when it starts it is fun)

Bonus point: it is not rocket league

I have a deep attachment to this title, since it was the first video game I've ever played.

I tried it, I liked it.
I knew it was coming out, but I've never seen trailers, so I was pleasantly surprised to see some new levels and mechanics;

other than that, the game is pretty much as I remembered it, including the infamous spot underwater, with the spears, which is pretty much a dead end if you haven't bought the right item.

It must be said that, for someone who hasn't tried it in his childhood, this game may seem trivial, or not be understood (And now that I think about it, why the heck would I have to fight guys playing paper, scissor, stone, It's beyond my mind), but it's worth a try.

I loved being a small dumb child again for a day.
Now I'm just a insignificant dumb adult, and that's not so funny. But that's another story.


EDIT:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, I just discovered (after almost 15-20 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ years) that the upper spears in the underwater section are not lethal if you keep moving.
That's the trick.

... ♥♥♥♥ you Alex Kidd. I love you but ♥♥♥♥ you.

I think my heart just exploded...

It looks like a weird russian experiment, but I kinda like it.

It might seem like a simple puzzle game, but it isn't.
You'll spend hours trying to figure how to solve a stage.

Sometimes you must act in ways that could seem senseless, but every level has a perfect logic.

This is another of those game where I gave up, but I still like it.