Recent reviews by justAEA

Tossing Gimli simulator (don't tell the elf)

Reject humanity, return to monke

This is a very special game for me. When they announced this game, I've had never played a Monkey Island game before, but I was very interested because I thought 'if they're making a sequel after all these years, this franchise must be something special.' Kinda like Twin Peaks actually. I was introduced to Twin Peaks with the announcement of its third season, 25 years after the original show. I watched the first two season before the third one came out, and I'm a massive Twin Peaks fan today. I'm happy to say the same thing happened with Monkey Island!

I played the first three games (Secret, Revenge and Curse) in preparation for Return, and I absolutely loved all of them. I think they're all very funny games with really good writing. I love the setting, the characters, the music and the most important of all: the vibe. I have no idea how to explain this but I love the vibe these games give. It just works for me.

Ok, so what about Return to Monke specifically? Is it any good? Well, yes. Absolutely yes! As someone who has no nostalgia for this series, I found this game to be a nice continuation of the first three games. Storywise, they continue from the ending of the second game while also acknowledging the existence of the rest of the series. Because of this, I'd say first two games are essential to play before this one to fully understand what's going on and I recommend Curse of the Monkey Island as well, as a bonus. Gameplay is what you'd expect from a modern point and click game. It's pretty streamlined in a good way. You left clict to comment on things and right click to interact with them. You move pretty fast and can double click to move even faster. There is also a very useful hint system. Music and voice acting are excellent just like the rest of the series. Art style received a lot of backlash when the game was first announced and I gotta say, I really don't understand why. First two games had pixel art, Curse looked like a Disney cartoon, Escape and Tales were in 3D and the Special Editions of the first two games had very stylised hand-drawn art. So this series always changed its look from game to game. I think Return looks absoutely gorgeous and the art style really fits the story and the tone of the game.

Without spoilers I want to touch on the ending as well. It's a very controversial ending and a lot of people are disappointed by it. On paper, I should be disappointed too. Like, if someone told me the ending before I played the game I'd go: 'That's it?', but actually playing the game and reaching that ending, it worked for me. I felt all kinds of things and I was satisfied. But remember, I'm a newcomer to this series. Obviously expectations of the fans who have been playing these games for decades are going to be very different.

In conclusion, I love this game. I love this franchise. In fact, I want to play Escape and Tales one day even though I didn't hear very good things about them. This is and will be a very special game for me for introducing me to this amazing franchise and I highly recommend it!

I've never been addicted to a game this fast. It makes me wish I didn't have a job or any responsibilities so I could play it 24/7.

This is a very beautiful game. I really liked the visuals, and found the cultural insight very interesting. Unfortunately the gameplay and controls are terrible. Specially the last third of the game is just not fun. What is even less fun is the Foxtales dlc. I recommend watching the documentary on youtube, and not bothering with the game.

This is a horrible dlc. It's basically a 2-hour-long cutscene with horrible storytelling and equally horrible gameplay. Majority of the dlc consists of cutscenes. The parts of the dlc you actually play are some of the worst Metro gameplay I've ever seen. This dlc has none of the things that made the main game fun. No exploration, no customising weapons, no stealth, no nothing. You move through some dark tunnels and fire at enemies with your flamethrower, and that's the entirety of the gameplay. Except for a tiny section where you use normal guns, you are limited to a gigantic flamethrower that covers half of your vision and pretty much blinds you when you fire it. The story wasn't all that good in the main game either, but it had some genuine character moments and it made you care for them. I didn't care about the characters in this dlc one bit. Also the character you play as dies in the most stupid was possible. Yeah, I know I'm about to die from radiation poisoning but let me look at this map instead of injecting the anti-rad, what could possibly go wrong? And then Miller finds his dead body and gives a horribly written monologue (it's not like you are in a heavily radiated area, just keep talking to a dead guy, what could possibly go wrong?)

I congratulate you 4A, you made a dlc so bad, I felt like I had to review it. On the bright side, it was only 2 hours!

I must say I'm impressed. It takes a special kind of talent to remaster a 10 year old game and make it worse in every way. Let's start with the most obvious one, performance. I can play Metro Exodus on high settings with a stable 60 fps but I cannot do it in this game. No matter what settings I choose, game constantly stutters and has fps drops. Even at times when it says it's running at 60 fps, it feels so sluggish. Don't even get me started on co-op, it's downright unplayable. In short, the performance is terrible, while the game doesn't look any different from 10 years ago.

So, what else did they f*ck up? Well, pretty much every change is for the worse. For example, the menus. When you are scrolling down in the menus, instead of stopping once you reach the bottom, they go back to the top. Meaning, you'll have to slowly and carefully navigate the menus if you don't want to waste time. The fact that they managed to break something as simple as this is all the evidence you need to know that this is just a cash grab to capitalise on the hype for Borderlands 3, but wait, there's more! They added a Borderlands 2 style minimap to the game, a change I was really excited for, but don't worry, they managed to f*ck that up too. Every time the minimap rotates it stutters and the arrow that shows your location constantly blinks for some reason, making the minimap distracting as well as annoying. Also, the game constantly puts a custom waypoint to the minimap, so you'll always have two waypoints on your minimap. Even if you disable the waypoint, it comes back pretty much instantly.

First Bioshock, and now this. Leave it to 2k to take beloved games, bastardize them and sell us back. To be fair, if you own the original game you get the remaster for free but just because it's free, doesn't mean we shouldn't complain about it. You can't serve me free poop and expect me to thank you. Also keep in mind the original game is no longer available for purchase, so you are forced to buy this inferior version which is also more expensive. In short, this is a no-effort cash grab intended to capitalise on the hype for Borderlands 3. It's worse than the original game in every way except it has an fov slider.

Let's get this out of the way: Removing the game from Steam two weeks before launch and making it an Epic exclusive was a stupid, greedy and anti-consumer decision. Shame on you Deep Silver for doing that. Many people will not be able to enjoy this fantastic game because of you. Now, on to the review.

I love the Metro series. Metro 2033 is one of my favorite games ever. Despite its overall roughness, it has an atmosphere unlike any other game, and a fantastic story. Last Light is in many ways a better game than 2033. It has improved gunplay and stealth, and is a much more polished game. I wasn't a fan of the story and the characters (Khan is a completely different character, Anna is handled very poorly), but it is still a great game. I've played both of these games and their Redux versions multiple times, so I guess you can say I was looking forward to Exodus, and I'm happy to say, I'm not disappointed.

Story takes place one year after Last Light and it is a sequel to the last book, Metro 2035. For reasons I won't spoil, Artyom and his wife, Anna, together with some friends, go on a journey across post-apocalyptic Russia on a train. Despite some problems, the story is overall good, but I think the real highlight of the game is the characters. I genuinely cared for all of them, I laughed and cried with them, and I did everything I can to make sure all of them made it alive to the end. There is an insane amount of optional dialogue you can listen to that helps you understand the motivations of the characters, and I applaud 4A Games for their effort.

During this journey you come across mini open world levels themed after different seasons. I say 'mini open world', but that's not a bad thing. Despite spending a lot of time on the surface, it is still a linear game, but you are given the option to explore if you want. Rest assured, you won't find mindless side missions or collectibles in this game like you would in a Ubisoft game. It is still Metro. Especially that final mission. It's one of my favorite missions in the entire Metro franchise. Level design is great and the game looks gorgeous, which makes the exploration that much more fun. Not to mention, you'll find new weapon parts, ammo and crafting materials by exploring, so it is definitely encouraged. Speaking of crafting materials, let's talk about the crafting system. This game doesn't have the trade system from the previous games, instead you craft your own equipment by finding materials. You can craft medkits, filters for your gasmask, or even ammo. You also need to regularly clean your weapons, because if they get too dirty they can jam, and trust me you don't want that during combat. To clean your weapons, you need to find a workbench, but most of the crafting and weapon customization can be done on the fly. Customizing your weapons is so much fun. Just came out of a bandit camp but now you have to deal with far away mutants? You can turn your silenced revolver into a sniper rifle by slapping a long barrel, a sniper stock and a 4x scope on that bad boy.

Now, let's talk about some problems. For me, the biggest problem in Metro Exodus is how clunky the movement feels. You get stuck on everyting, and climbing objects is very frustrating. Sometimes the object you are trying to climb pushes you back, and you need to repeatedly try the same climb until it finally plays the climbing animation. Another one is the hit detection on your guns. Sometimes, your bullets don't connect to enemies, like a Treyarch game. You can aim perfectly, with a fully clean gun, and the bullet will go to a random direction. This may sound like a small problem, but it can cause you to get detected during a stealth section, so it is a big problem. I once lost 10 minutes of progress on a stealth section, because my gun fired to a random object instead of the enemy in front of me, and he turned and one-shotted me on Ranger difficulty.

Another big problem is the voice acting. Metro games always had bad voice acting but Exodus easily has the worst. What's even worse is, characters talk over each other. For example A and B are speaking. A is asking B a question, but B starts answering the question before A has finished asking it, so there are a few seconds in which they talk at the same time, and this happens more often then you think. Turning on the subtitles helps a little, but it is still annoying. Also, the game has many bugs and glitches, ranging from funny graphical errors to your save file getting deleted. Thankfully, 4A has patched a lot of these, but they definitely have more work to do. The final big problem is the options menu, or the lack of one. You have almost no options to customise. Can't turn off anti-aliasing or shadows, also DX12 causes many people's games to crash. There is no FOV slider, instead you have to config files to change it. Come on guys, it's 2019, please put a little more effort on your options menu.

Metro Exodus is not a flawless game, but then again, no game is. I played this game for 44 hours in 4 days. I literally took a break from life and played Metro Exodus. If you are a Metro fan, play Exodus. The open world aspect of the game doesn't take away from the atmosphere. If you haven't played a Metro game before, and want to start with Exodus, you can definitely do that, I don't think you'd be confused, also the characters are mostly new. Though you should play 2033 and Last Light, I mean come on! I'd say Exodus is better than Last Light but not as good as 2033, but all three of them are must-plays!

I can't believe I'm actually writing a negative review for Bayonetta. As a big fan of character action games, I wanted to play Bayonetta ever since it was first released, but couldn't because I didn't own a console. So, I was very happy when the game came to PC, but to my surprise, I didn't enjoy it at all, in fact I hated it. Hate is a strong word, but that's the only way to describe how I felt during my first playthrough of this game, and while subsequent playthroughs were better, they didn't improve my opinion on the game that much. Before I go on any further and rip the game a new one, I should talk about what I liked about the game.

What I liked about the game

Combat system in this game is fantastic. It's fast, fluid and responsive. It's easily the best part of the game. I particularly like the weapon system. You can equip seperate weapons to your hands and feet, and you can mix both of them together and perform many different combos. This gives the combat a lot of depth and variety. The game also breaks new ground by giving players the ability to dodge by pressing a single button (a feature even DMC5 doesn't have), and if you time your dodge correctly, you activate 'witch time', which briefly slows the time and allows you to punish your enemies. Personally, I think the witch time is the most fun and satisfying part of this game. I also like the art style of the game. Designs of Bayonetta and the enemies are very nice. The game has a ton of extra content as well; extra difficulty mods, secret characters, Angel Slayer mode ( like Bloody Palace from DMC, a mode in which you fight waves of enemies), many alternate costumes and secret missions. Now, let's talk about everything else.

Everything else

The story is absolute dogsh*t, which won't surprise you if you are familiar with this kind of games. What will surprise you, however, is the insane amount of cutscenes the game has, half of them aren't even animated, they are like visual novels. I don't like skipping cutscenes when I'm playing a game for the first time, so I watched all of them, a decision I still regret, and I still have no idea what happened or why I should care about any of it. The problem is they are completely unnecessary. They could've told the same story using only a quarter of the cutscenes, and it would've been a better game. I'm serious, sitting through these cutscenes was more challenging than beating the infinite climax mode.

The camera is a work of art. It's somehow worse than DMC3 and 4, both games with fixed camera angles. You have full control over the camera in Bayonetta, but that's just an illisuon. The game constantly moves the camera around against your will, and there is no option to pacify the camera. It's like the nemesis, a struggle from start to finish, and easily the hardest enemy of the game. What's even more baffling is, enemies can hit you off screen. This means camera will actively f*ck you up, especially on higher difficulties. It's annoying, cheap and shouldn't exist. The perfect place to see how broken the camera is the boss fights against Jeanne (this game's Vergil). Both the camera and the platform you're on constantly moves, making it very difficult to see the boss half the time. As a result, the best boss in the game turns into one of the worst ones.

Speaking of cheap, this game has insta-kill quick time events. Also when an enemy is first introduced, they start an attack in a cutscene, then the game gives the control to you and you immediately get hit, unless you spam the dodge button. These got me almost every single time. It's even worse when you are skipping the cutscenes, because you'll have no idea when one of these will happen, unless you memorized it, or played the game a lot. Let me remind you, this game constantly ranks your performance, so when you fail a qte and die or receive a lot of damage, even if you do all the fights really well, you'll still get a bad ranking at the end of the level, so this cheap bullsh*t is unacceptable.

Remember when I said 'The game also breaks new ground by giving players the ability to dodge by pressing a single button', well for some reason, they decided that button should be the Right Trigger. I played this game with an Xbox One controller, and I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but the triggers take a while to fully press. So, what happens is, you'll see an attack coming, start pressing RT, but you won't be able to fully press it in time and get hit. I'm sure you can get used to timing it better and this stops being an issue, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a bad design choice. LB is only used for taunting, they could've swapped the two functions and this wouldn't be a problem. There's no way to rebind the keys either, unless you go to Steam controller configuration menu and do it outside of the game (I figured this out just now, f*ck).

Now, let's talk about all the unnecessary bullsh*t Platinum games put in the game: Driving/flying sequences. If you play this game once and never touch it again, you may think of these parts as 'a little too long but a nice distraction.' Well, I've played this game 4 times, and I've hated these sequences more and more each time. Biggest problem is, these sequences are way too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ long. They are very repetitive too, so they feel even longer. Your character takes so much space, she prevents you from seeing, which results in getting hit. Also, towards the end of the game there is a TURRET SECTION against a boss...WHY? This section even has bullet drop, so it's not an easy, fun little distraction. It's actually one of the only parts that forced me to use items.

I'm not a fan of the menus in the game. They feel a little clunky untill you get used to them. I also don't like the fact that you have to wait a second for items to start floating to you when you break an object. This sounds like a nitpick, but it's unnecessarily annoying considering how many breakable objects there are. There is a sequence in the game, where you have to protect someone, and everytime she gets damaged, the game dramatically stops you and focuses on her. In the same sequence, you are intoduced to enemies that can only be damaged by the environmental objects, which the game doesn't bother telling you.

I just realised, the more I talk about this game, the more depressed I get, so I'll stop here. For the record, I believe there is a really good game here, but it's burried under so many annoying sh*t, I just couln't help but hate the entire thing, with a passion. This was the most heart breaking 'review' I've written since Arkham Knight. When a game has so much potential, so many talented people working on it, it's hard not to get upset when you end up hating the final product. If you like this game, please don't be offended. You can like something and criticise it at the same time. Unfortunately, Bayonetta received nothing but praise, as a result, Platinum made some of the same mistakes they made in this game in their other games. For example Metal Gear Rising's camera has the exact same 'automatic 180 turn when near a corner' problem. Anyway, I'm done talking about this game. I still like you Platinum, and I'm glad you didn't go bankrupt. I hope you continue making games, but please dial down the bullsh*t.

This is quite possibly the most unintentionally funny game I've ever played. It's so incompetent, so horribly written and so stupid, I had a blast playing it! I thought nothing could have worse writing than the tv show, but Telltale proved me wrong. Keep up the good work guys!

Looks like sh*t, sounds like sh*t, plays like sh*t. This is the worst thing I own on Steam. Sh*t/10