Look, pal, I aint your friend. I'm a straight up huzzler and I didnt come here to make friends. I came to play hard win hard, buddy boy.


Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like,
"No way, bro. I'm a straight up-party boy who's into chicks."
Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance.
It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like,
"Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!"
But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it.
If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them.