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Nathan Jones

So here's the dark secret about the first-ever Pride card: It was bad. There were seven fights on the card and most of them were terrible; a pro-wrestler vs a 3-5 jobber, Renzo and Akira Shoji going to a 30-minute draw, Kimo and Dan Severn going to a 30-minute draw and a kickboxing match that ended in two minutes due to fouls. But above all of them in comedy value, midway through the card, was Koji Kitao--a former sumo and professional wrestler with an MMA record of 0-2--vs Nathan Jones, an untrained Australian strongman champion who had never fought before. The match runs 2:14 and consists of exactly three things: Ninety seconds of circling, Jones throwing a leaping spinkick, and Kitao taking him down and submitting him by keylock within seconds. Neither man would fight again, and years later Jones would admit the fight was fixed.

Jones is sort of impossible to accurately portray: He was not a fighter, and his only fight was fake. He went on to become a professional wrestler--but not only did that also barely last, he was legendarily bad at it. So this character is partially MMA and partially wrestling, and his stats are accurately bad enough that, quite frankly, it probably won't matter. I also used his alternate attires to reflect his actual accomplishments in life--his Strongman championship and his acting career.

Moveset, stats, logic and four attires (Pride 1 vs Kitao / WWE gear / World's Strongest Man '95 / Rictus Erectus from Mad Max: Fury Road).