𝔅𝔞𝔟𝔶 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔩𝔢𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔪𝔟
ℑ𝔣 𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔫𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔫 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔟𝔢 𝔰𝔬 𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢
𝔊𝔦𝔯𝔩, ℑ 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢, 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔬𝔴𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔢

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　 　 　 𝐖 𝐄 𝐋 𝐂 𝐎 𝐌 𝐄 - 𝐓 𝐎 - 𝐌 𝐘 - 𝐏 𝐑 𝐎 𝐅 𝐈 𝐋 𝐄
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𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔣𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔳𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔰. ℑ’𝔳𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔬 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔯𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱. 𝔖𝔞𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔟𝔶 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔞𝔪, 𝔥𝔦𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔤𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔰 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔦𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔶, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰.

The Stoics discourage strong attachments to things not in our control. Strong emotional attachment to other people seems to be a celebrated and normalized part of life. When we’re attached to someone, we wish that this person is present. And when this person is present, we don’t want this individual to leave us. Emotionally, such an attitude leads to problems, and the stronger the attitude, the more problematic it becomes. From a Stoic point of view, You are not free. Your desires enslave you. You are a plaything of Fate. Trying to keep the people we’re attached to in our lives is a selfish pursuit. When we desire people to be with us, we generally don’t desire this for them, nor the betterment of the common good, but to fulfill our own selfish desire, which is the ‘not wanting to part from what we’re fond of.’ When a friend dies, she/he leaves you for a someone else, or a child wishes to never see you again, you likely feel that something that’s yours is taken from you. But from a Stoic point of view, the correct way to look at such events: You don’t lose people; you return them, as they were never yours. Never say of anything, “I have lost it”; but, “I have returned it.” Today’s society seems to consider “being in love” as one of the highest possible states available to the individual. Unsurprisingly, the ancient Stoics saw the passions as problematic they distinguished four passions: pleasure, appetite, distress, and fear. Being attached to someone, let alone deeply in love, accompanies a symphony of all four passions. When a beloved friend is with us, we experience ‘pleasure.’ When she/he isn’t there, we experience an appetite for his presence. The woman who a man is in love with, he fears losing. And when she leaves him or dies, he likely experiences excruciating pain.