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(Shrek chuckles and rips out a page of the book and closes it)
Shrek: Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of -
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(We see an outhouse and hear the sound of a toilet flushing. Out steps Shrek, an ogre, who tugs at his underwear and shakes his foot of the page still stuck to his shoe. He looks lovingly at the swamp he calls home, and goes about his daily routine. Which is taking a mud shower, brushing his teeth with bugs, bathing in a muddy pond, gathering giant slugs for dinner, and painting a warning sign)