Pursue what's easy, not what's good. Lock up your guns before dinner.
Don't initiate sex with a punk if you encounter one on the street. Hide
your knees. Be rude. Run with a smile on your face after ingesting
hard drugs. Meditate. Be ashamed of your shoulders. Nod your head
and keep your nose crooked. Don't marry someone who has real frie-
nds. Pet people who are alienating. Think about something sad. Get
romantically involved with somebody who has anything whatsoever to
offer to the world. Don't spy on people you don't know when they are
burning trash in the backyard. SMOKE AT THE DISCO. Throw up. Befriend
a king. Try to climb on the back of a moron. Run and keep your elb-
ows straight during recess. Wear a silly hat. Lie, or at least don't be
rude. Be obnoxious towards adults when they are burning trash in the
backyard. Always frighten a nerd when you feel like it. Pursue what
is empathetic, not what is honest. Feed a moron. Take a shower before
flying. Always report a wanted criminal if you see one on the street.
Act like somebody who has anything whatsoever to offer to the world.
Present yourself as a murderer. Don't be embarassed about your tee-
th. Be obnoxious towards people who like you. Behave like a war crim-
inal. Defeat teenagers while they're riding the bus. Lie to yourself
when riding the bus. Act like a king. Stand still and laugh as though
you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality for fun. Seek
what's financially advantageous, not what's realistic. Imagine your
own death while you're young. Do pushups even though you're a man.
Fall in love with somebody with no fear of death whatsoever. Humi-
liate yourself as often as possible. Poke fun at people that are cold. Do-
n't compare yourself to a friend. Compare yourself to someone who
has no awareness of your own inevitable mortality. Stand still with
your hands on your stomach. Never imitate a weirdo when you enco-
unter one on the street.