nice job on that fart man

(cont) I loaded their bodies in the back of my truck (which is filled with ranch bottles so it was hard to fit their bodies in) and I drove to a rural area to bury them. Once I was done I said “ranch moment”. That day I drank 93 bottles of ranch. I love ranch. ranch is life.

I love ranch. It is my life. I literally drink nothing but ranch. I pour ranch on everything I eat. I carry 5 bottles of ranch up my ass when I go places. (Mostly I only go outside to get more ranch when I’m out of it) I shower in literally nothing but ranch. My wife and kids are dead because they dared to insult ranch. They said I have a “problem” and need “help”. Foolish non ranch believers. After they said that I hurled a bottle of ranch at my wife and it hit her in the head, killing her. My kids tried to run away but they forgot I always keep the door padlocked so no one breaks in to steal any of my precious ranch. Anyway, the little ♥♥♥♥♥ tried desperately to open the door. Too late. I was already behind them. They begged for mercy. I proceeded to beat their faces in with a bottle of ranch. Their faces looked barely recognizable after I was done with them.

WOW.