You are a worthless, dishonorable ass ninja. Your life is literally as valuable as a summer haiku. I’m just gonna exile you and you’re gonna keep coming back, I’m gonna reform my government, you’re gonna keep coming back. Why? Because you keep smelling the matcha. You worthless tramp ass mongol.

You’re gonna stay in Nara until you die. You serve NO purpose in life! Your purpose in life is to be my vassal defending my territory daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that tea ceremony overseeing my land daily.

Your life is worth NOTHING! You have ZERO honor! You should commit seppuku NOW!

And give another lord a piece of that loyalty and servitude, that exists so that we can live inside this trash feudal fief.

Who is Honorable Leader Xi Jinping?

For the blind, it is the light.

For the hungry, it's bread.

For the thirsty, it is the source of water.

For the dead, it's life.

For the sick, it is healing.

For the prisoner, it is freedom.

For the lonely, it's the companion.

For the traveler, it's the way.

For me, it's everything.

If Xi Jinping thinks so, I agree.

If Xi Jinping speaks, I listen.

If Xi Jinping makes a mistake, I forgive.

If Xi Jinping thinks, I admire it.

If Xi Jinping has 100 fans, I'm one of them.

If Xi Jinping has 10 fans, I'm one of them.

If Xi Jinping has 1 fan, I am that fan.

If Xi Jinping doesn't have fans, I don't exist.

I'm not a boomer. I am not a boomer. Do not f ucking call me a boomer ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least boomer people you have ever met. I make jokes about depression, mad f ucking f ucked depression. I am not boomer. I am not a boomer. Stop saying I am a boomer. If you were a boomer, I would have probably already punched the s hit out of you by now, but fortunately you are a zoomer whose body remained un-touched by my fat, meaty, fists because I AM NOT A BOOMER. If I was a boomer though, you would find my Jackhammer pounding your face with my fists. Luckily for you, I am NOT A BOOMER, and you will have your virgin face remain unpounded ad infinitum. Actually, it seems to me like you are the boomer here. You are a boomer, not me. I am not a boomer, and I will never be. If I was ever a boomer in a past life (which I WASN'T), I would be killing myself right now, that is how boomer I AM NOT.

Ur gonna get jacked if you know what i mean

In a controversial Tweet this morning, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling revealed that you, the reader, have been gay ever since the release of the best-selling children’s series.

“When writing, I always envisioned the reader as gay,” Rowling wrote. “This has been the case since the first page of Philosopher’s Stone, and as the dictator of canon, what I say is now established lore.”

Casually posted between tweets about Dobby’s successful line of designer socks and the religious diversity of Hufflepuff fourth years, this stunning revelation has Potter fans questioning everything.

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