I second this notion

MELONSS EVERYWERE

IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!!!

O o
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| BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! !!!!
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+rep quick and kind

no one is talking, entire cafeteria is silent
i look up at the clock its time
i calmly get up, and walk toward the now empty food line
i strip off my clothes as i walk, and am naked by he time i get there
i walk into the line, and the lunch lady sees me
she silently nods her head
she knows what must be done
she hands me two food prongs
i grasp them with each hand, and start snapping them like a crab
i do a crab walk back out into the cafeteria
as i walk, the rate of my snapping increases
by the time i reach the bully, i am snapping so fast it sounds like a low humming sound
i stop, and stand into an upright position only a few feet from him
he looks at me in shock, not knowing what to say
i grab both of my nipples with the prongs, twist, and pull them off
i bring the bully into a deep kiss that lasts a few seconds
i quietly whisper into his ear
"stop being such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥"
i drop the prongs and walk away, leaving the bully in shock, my blood all over his shirt